#i have this jeno wip

[diorcities]

constantly thinking about jeno being into slight bondage for that one video of him restricting mark's hands because he was tickling him. imagine his strong grip on your hands, not letting you touch him while he pounds into you at a hard and fast pace with his venous and thick cock, stretching you out.

i genuinely think he's very noisy as well. his deep voice cursing and telling you how good you feel around him, clenching and shivering as he thrusts you mercilessly.

slightly into crying kink because he knows he's making you feel that good. you whining and sobbing because of overstimulation, trying to grab something to hold on to, but not be possible due to his hands holding your limbs behind your back, forcing you to stay still.

and then when his high washes him over, he lets you go only to stroke his cock, spilling his cum in your butt, emptying out on the soft skin that he proceeds to slap while calling you his “good girl”. he'll clean up his mess late that night, but not before he kiss you and check if you're okay.

the aftercare is a whole different scenario. both cuddling and whispering sweet words while you feel his fingers draw patterns in your back before you fall asleep.

[4o4eros]

hogwarts au; quidditch player!jeno, school swimmer! eunha

thinking about pervert!jeno hexing his own poster when he found out his beloved noona, his senior eunha was a fan of his.

thinking about pervert!jeno smiling to himself, proud of his own idea- casting a spell on that piece of paper and keeping his senior in the dark of what he has planned.

thinking about pervert!jeno being so excited, even signing his name unto the poster and delivering the paper himself to his innocent senior.

thinking about pervert!jeno impatiently running to his dorm, immediately grabbing his own piece of paper as he stared down with anticipation. his mouth curved slightly into a corrupted grin when his view is now filled with eunha. his eyes rested shamelessly on the curve of her tits from the low position- assuming his innocent noona!eunha placed his poster on her table.

thinking about pervert!jeno groaning softly as he catches glimpses of her undressing from her uniform into her tight swimsuit while she prepares for her swimming club.

thinking about pervert!jeno losing his mind as he gets a closed up view of her noona's barely covered tits (he swore he saw her nipples poking through the fabric! and god- the way his mouth watered.) as she sets up the poster against her wall- conveniently facing her bed.

thinking about pervert!jeno already having his pants down when eunha naively fixes her swim shorts, exposing her thick derriere and flashing him with her supple cheeks.

thinking about pervert!jeno with his hand stuffed in his boxer, pleasuring himself with his wild thoughts, absolutely reserving and manipulating that scene for so many of his future lonely nights. dismissing whatever idea he's gonna have to think to make up an excuse for coming in late for quidditch practice.

[hannie-dul-set]

Omg an unlikely fan meeting is SO GOOD. I would DIE for a full version if you ever feel inspired for one, i love the dynamic already omg doing it for an autograph, a grittier film, "my ex isnt this hot", i got a few chuckles out of that

TO BE VERY HONEST i didn't want to write anything more for it.....but i have an extra scene planned out rn and the dialogue is so dumb it'd be a waste to let it rot in my notes app 😭😭 debating whether or not to barf it out as another blurb because i do not!!! want to be bothered with fleshing it out as a full fic but at the SAME TIME i feel like.....it'd be spicy as a full fic u know 😔😔.

i might just drop drabbles here n there whenever i'm feeling funky because this dynamic i really fun to write and i'm glad you love it as well HAHAHAHA. the my ex isn't this hot line started it all really 😔😔🤙🤙.

[raibebe]

Happy WIP Wednesday

[jaeyunverse]

only 6 more days for 12th grade to officially finish and my exams to be over. perhaps jaeyunverse comeback with a long fic ????? 😳

[shuadotcom]

don't wannna wait on it (m)

> summary: if it’s a crime to want to have sex at every opportunity with your incredibly sexy boyfriend then you’ll gladly accept your sentence. > pairing : na jaemin x fem!reader > genres & aus: established relationship au, non!idol au, smut, porn with absolutely no plot, the occasional small fluff bits because i’m me rating: 18+ [MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI! YOU WILL BE BLOCKED] > warnings/content: car sex, rough sex, clit & tit slapping, dirty talk, pet names (baby girl/pretty girl/slut), unprotected sex, creampie, one mention of a ‘sir’ kink, lowercase writing > words: 3.6k > note: hi i’m back?! 🫣 this was not something in my wips nor was it a request. i didn’t even plan on writing for the dreamies anytime soon but na jaemin is my all consuming sleep paralysis demon and i’m unbearably whipped for him so this happened over the weekend when i was high and staring at pictures of him so surprise~🧍🏽‍♀️ thank you to my love @horanghater for beta reading this and always being my biggest cheerleader 🩷❤️

he smiles that megawatt, heart-stopping smile at you. the corners of his mouth quirk up, lush pink lips stretching over two rows of perfect teeth. jaemin’s smile has always been your favorite physical feature on him.

“yes, of course, i love the rest of you!”

“but what about-”

“yea jaem - that includes your dick.” is usually some variation of how the conversation would go between the two of you when you complimented his smile. of course he knows you love him, and that you’re in love with him, but who would he be if he didn’t whine his way into getting more compliments from you?

jaemin’s smile is something that needs to be immortalized in a mural on the sistine chapel ceiling, or however, the damn saying goes.

it’s hard to remember much when he’s fucking your last remaining brain cells out of you..

“if only you could see yourself right now, baby girl - so fucked out you can’t even focus on me for more than a second,” jaemin sighs at you, eyes focused on the way your eyes cross and mouth twists in a choked cry.

you wanted so badly to strike back with something sassy, but his thumb has moved to stroke your clit just the way you like and the breath is knocked out of you.

jaemin’s left hand, the one gripping your thigh like a lifeline as it hangs limply around his waist, shifts downward to the back of your knee. he lifts your leg to drape it over his shoulder. his cock wedges deeper into you, the sensation completely blocking out the way your knee hits the roof of the car on the way up.

in the very back recesses of your brain you conjure enough sense to be happy that jaemin had driven your suv out tonight. fucking him in his sedan would’ve been doable, but a little trickier.

you would know since he has in fact, fucked you in his car before. comfort makes all the difference.

it had been him that needed you that night, the dress you’d worn for jeno’s birthday party at his favorite club making it impossible for jaemin not to watch you all night. just seeing you standing and talking to your group of friends had him locked in, his heavy gaze watching your every move. when he finally got his hands on you, he could only focus on dancing with you for a single song before he was dirty talking you out of the club and onto your hands and knees in the backseat of his bmw.

tonight, it just so happened to be your turn to shamelessly ogle your boyfriend like a woman starved.

in your defense, it is literally his fault. he’d been teasing you all day.

your boyfriend had taken it upon himself to wake you up this morning by crawling between your legs and rousing you out of your sleep with his lips attached to your clit. apparently, he missed you so much while you were asleep he couldn’t wait to have a taste of you as soon as his eyes opened.

you didn’t have a problem with it, nor did you have a problem with the way his hands took every opportunity to find your hips, your side, your ass, or your hands with his own as the day went on. you cleaned your shared apartment before getting ready for your friends’ housewarming gathering later and jaemin couldn’t keep his hands off of you - again, not that it was a bad thing.

what did end up being a bad thing - for you at least - is how wound up he left you, only to leave the house for your outing tonight looking like the sexiest man on the planet (as if he didn’t already do that every day).

jaemin wore dark denim jeans and a casual blazer - a very normal outfit in your opinion.

except, under his blazer was a form-fitting tank top. the get-together was only a handful of friends and the hosts made it clear it was an extremely casual time so neither of you had to worry over an outfit to wear. still, the moment jaemin decided to take his blazer off and you watched as his shoulders, arms, and the thick vein that runs up his bicep whenever he flexed became visible, you wished he had worn a three-piece suit instead.

how the hell were you supposed to be normal when he had riled you up so much over the course of the day? and of course, even in the car ride over, he had let his hand rest on your bare thigh, fingertips casually resting just under the bottom of your skirt. you wanted more than anything for him to creep those thick fingers up the rest of the way and find their way into your panties.

he didn’t though, he instead talked about how excited he was for donghyuck and his partner, your best friend, to have finally been able to get their own house. it made jaemin talk wistfully about when the two of you would do the same. your heart would normally be fluttering in your chest at how sweet your boyfriend of four years is and how much it made you fall even more in love with him when he talked about your future together.

and while yes, you were feeling that giddiness, your pussy was also throbbing, panties sticking uncomfortably against you as his fingers danced on your skin, but made no move upwards.

so, again, it was hardly your fault that you needed him so badly. that’s why, at some point in the night, you simply lost all decorum. it was when jaemin came into the kitchen while you were trying to decide which appetizer to distract yourself with. he was still just in his undershirt and had the nerve to smile at you.

“hey, beautiful,” he immediately came over to place a kiss on your cheek. your back was to him so he casually draped himself over you, back-hugging you as he surveyed the food options. “having fun?”

you hummed in affirmation, suddenly getting distracted as he pressed into you, reaching over your body to grab a slice of pizza. his chest was so solid behind you, his warmth striking the match that was your overwhelming thirst for him.

“yeah, but i’d be having more fun if you were fucking me right now.”

jaemin’s eyes widened, head tilting as he studied you. “oh yeah?” he sounded genuinely intrigued. “and where is that coming from?”

rolling your eyes, you scoffed at him, pushing your ass back into his bulge behind you, jaemin letting a grunt sound in his throat.

“you’ve been messing with me since you woke me up!” he smirked at the memory, obviously not sorry one bit. “then, you spent the whole day groping me like a perv!”

he gasped, “first of all, i’m offended that me wanting skinship with my girlfriend whom i love so much makes me a perv!”

“still! and then you walk around this house in this tight shirt with your arms just out!”

“is it not warm in here?! it’s not my fault donghyuck won’t let us turn the aircon lower!”

you flipped around, wrapping your arms around his waist, surprising him again.

“jaem, please can we go home? i need you so bad,” you gave him your best puppy-dog eyes, jutting your lip out for good measure. jaemin’s willingness to give into you would typically depend on how nice or how mean he was feeling that day.

unfortunately for you, it was obvious he wasn’t going to give you what you want anytime soon. a downright devilish smirk overtook him as he pressed against you, his bulge pressing into your belly. your grip on his waist tightened as you felt in real time, his dick hardening against you.

“honestly, i had no idea i was getting you so flustered, baby girl,” one of his hands moves to hold your waist, grinding against you once more. “but now that i know, i think instead of leaving now, it’ll be much more fun to make you wait until later.” as soon he says that, he snatches his hold on you away, separating your bodies before you can grab at him again.

“jaemin!” you pout, arms falling to your side.

“besides, it would be rude to leave our friends’ gathering celebrating this milestone in their lives! you wouldn’t want to do that, right sweetheart?” you cross your arms. that was true - you didn’t want to leave the celebration early just to run off and have sex with your boyfriend - even if your body was practically buzzing at the sight of jaemin just standing in front of you. “plus, sometimes i just love making you unbearably horny. you get so fucking desperate for me.”

he had the nerve to giggle at the scoff you let out as he blew you a kiss and left the kitchen.

and you hate how right he was. you were so pathetically desperate for him. you kept your eyes on him all night and quickly got tired of just looking, so you decided to flip the script on him, using every excuse you got to touch or rub up on him.

your ass rubbed against him as you inserted yourself into a conversation with he and jeno. your nail scraped across his firm chest as you scooted past him to get to the bathroom. you made sure to grip the highest part of his thigh when for “stability” as you rose from the couch to go talk to a friend.

it was partially to tease him right back and partially to fulfill your scorching need to feel him up. you were admittedly shameless in your lust for him, but so what? if it’s a crime to want to have sex at every opportunity with your incredibly sexy boyfriend then you’ll gladly accept your sentence.

by the time the night was over and goodbyes were shared, you knew your actions were anything but criminal.

“just so you know, when we get home i’m going to do so much more than eat your slutty little cunt out,” he says low enough for only you to hear, which combined with the way his fingertips dug into your lower back as he walked you to the car, was anything but a punishment.

excitement coursed through your veins - when jaemin started to say absolutely filthy things to you before using his soft words as foreplay, you knew he wanted you in more of a carnal way than anything slow and drawn out. he needed you then just as badly as you had needed him.

“oh yeah?” you mused, pretending to be surprised by his admission. you unabashedly smiled up at him, amused by the way he frowned back in response.

“yeah,” he said simply, opening your passenger door, holding your hand as you stepped up and in, not saying another word.

you had known he was going to fuck your brains out when you got home, but what you hadn’t known was that he’d decide he couldn’t wait anymore. that instead of waiting to bend you in half at home in your bed, he was going to pull onto a side road on the way home and do it. the road was still under construction, so it was a dead end with no one nearby, all the workers having gone home for the night.

jaemin drives his hips into the backs of your thighs faster, the sound of skin-on-skin echoing against the fogged-up windows.

“ja-aemin!” your back arches up when he takes his thumb away from your clit to readjust your hips on the seat.

he tuts at you, his hand quickly moving back between you to smack at your clit, the sting pushing a squeal out of you.

“patience, my slutty baby. i’m making sure you don’t fall.” he smacks your bud again, hand going back to your hips and forcefully slowing your movement down. he ignores your pleas and protests for him to do anything other than stop.

“jaemin, no no no no please!”

“fuck i love when you beg for me like this. my pretty, needy girl.”

“yes, yes, jaem please, i’m so needy.”

jaemin bites his lip, slowly rotating his hips. it’s not fast enough to give you any relief from the pressure building in your stomach and you whine out louder in frustration.

“needy for what exactly?” he’s teasing you because of course he is.

“you, jaemin!”

“what about me?”

“oh my god, jaemin, your dick! i need your dick and i need you to fuck me and make me cum! please!” you’re more irritated when you say it, your orgasm having been taken from you.

“i know, i just like to hear you say it,” jaemin chuckles.

“you’re so annoying!” you grunt, trying to move your hips to set the pace yourself. instead, jaemin presses them down into the cloth seats, leaning over your body to bring his face directly in front of you.

you stop your squirming to gasp, surprised by his proximity. his dark eyes sweep over your face before he’s leaning down to kiss you, plump lips moving against yours with hunger and determination. you instantly kiss him back, eyes slipping closed as jaemin’s tongue caresses yours, both of you sighing into the other. jaemin reaches up to cradle your head and he deepens the kiss, but only for a few more seconds. he pulls away, giggling at the tiny “noooooooo” you whimper, going so far as to kick your legs the best you could, throwing a tantrum.

jaemin coos at you, sitting up straighter. his hands skillfully reach for the buttons on your blouse, undoing them with little effort and pulling your bra up, making sure your tits fall out the bottom and tucking the unneeded fabric under your chin.

“jaem! i’m going to die if you don’t finish what you started!”

jaemin brings a heavy hand down, smacking your right tit, making you scream. “hush, brat! i wanted to see your tits while i fuck you.”

you humph at him, turning your head to look away from him with an attitude.

jaemin rolls his eyes as he repositions himself, slowly entering your waiting pussy again, and watches as your eyelids flutter closed, frown melting away as your mouth opens.

“you’re lucky i need to fill you up now or else i’d make you wait till we’re home.”

you barely hear him as inch-by-inch of jaemin slides into you until he’s bottomed out, stretching your walls out as if he hadn’t just been pumping into you minute ago.

jaemin carefully positions both legs over his shoulders, bending down into your space, both to witness the stunning expressions he’ll get you to make up close and to not risk hitting his head on the roof of your car.

the position allows it to feel as though jaemin fills you up even more, crowding so close to you that all you see, all you hear, all you smell is jaemin. if you lean up close enough, you may be able to kiss him again so you can taste jaemin too.

that stops being an option once he finally starts to move his hips and thrusts into you, wasting no time to ease you into it. jaemin grinds into you with a force that makes the car start to shake again.

“shit - jaem!”

“feel good, baby girl?”

“so so good!”

jaemin shuffles his lower half closer to you, pushing you further up the seat with each rough thrust. he manages to lean closer to pepper your faces in sloppy kisses with each snap of his hips.

“so fucking beautiful,” jaemin groans, the blunt nails on his left hand dig into the sensitive skin of your thighs as he bullies his cock into your sopping pussy harder, harder, and harder again, your cries for him nothing but incomprehensible nonsense at this point.

when the positioning of his hips changes an inch, it’s just enough to have the fat head of his cock knocking into your g-spot over and over again.

“fuuuuck! yes, right there jaem baby, right there!” you shriek, nails digging into his thick biceps as you cling to them, your head spinning with pleasure.

“open your eyes, pretty girl,” jaemin nearly growls. “look at me when you cum.”

it feels almost impossible, but you do as you’re told, prying your teary lashes open to meet jaemin’s gaze. you’re greeted with the sight of your boyfriend, eyes dark, pupils blown out as he stares you down. his black hair is sticking to his face as a few sweat droplets trail down the side of his face and drip, making his beautiful, honeyed skin glow. 

your eyes follow, catching sight of the way his gold chain dangles over you as he snakes his hand between your bodies again, this time returning his fingers to your aching clit, twisting and rubbing harsh circles into the sensitive bud with a purpose.

“jaem…baby, i-i i’m so close. s-so close!”

“yeah? gonna cum for me baby girl?”

“mmhmm!”

“gonna be my good girl and make a mess for me to clean up when we get home?” jaemin’s words are strained, his own end also approaching.

“yes! anything please, jaem, just wanna cum! can i, please?”

“only if you look at me while you do,” he commands, pulling your gaze away from his sculpted chest.

when your eyes lock with his, jaemin immediately smiles at you again, this time in the cocky, self-assured way he always does when he watches you breaking down and falling to pieces for him.

“cum for me, pretty girl. come on and cream all over my fat cock,” jaemin demands, finger pressing against your clit at the same time that his cock drills into your spot for the final time needed to have your toes curling and vision turning white as you cum, nails nearly breaking skin on jaemin’s arms as you do.

through the static filling your ears, you can hear his moans getting louder and high-pitched.

he keeps his heavy eyes locked on you until he can’t anymore and his body stutters, then he’s cumming hard, lids clenching shut as ropes of white warmth fill your hole and drip out around jaemin’s twitching dick.

he rests his head against your chest, his sweaty hair making your bare skin itch. even so, you let him stay for a few more minutes, enjoying the warmth of his breath with each exhale.

eventually, you have to call his name a few times, tapping the top of his head. he doesn’t respond at first, so you have to shake him harder and he finally sits up.

“hmm?”

“were you asleep?!”

“no, but i didn’t wanna leave. your tits are so soft,” jaemin pouts, hands cupping both of your breasts and squeezing. he almost gets you - your head nearly lolling back as his thumbs roll over your nipples.

you fight it though, pinching his side which makes him yelp.

“you can play with my tits when you get us home if we leave right now.”

your boyfriend sighs, but straightens himself up, gingerly pulling his softening length out of you. he can’t help but hesitate to watch in fascination when his cum leaks out from between your puffy pussy lips, only looking away when you close your legs.

“babeeeeee!”

“babe nothing! home now!” you push him away with your foot and sit up to pull your skirt down.

“fine, but you better hold all my cum inside you till we get there. i need to fuck it back into you.”

you pretend to think, jaemin making eye contact with you through the rearview mirror when you hesitate. “mmm okay…but only if you promise to fill me up again right after.” jaemin lets out a huff through his nostrils, throwing the car into drive.

“seatbelt, baby,” he tells you, waiting for you to do so before he peels away. “good girl.”

the timber of his voice has you clenching around nothing, already missing the heaviness of jaemin stretching your walls to their limit.

“anything for you, sir.” the words are sticky sweet and jaemin has to count to five because he’s sure he’ll explode if you keep it up.

“you love playing with me, don’t you?” jaemin mumbles through gritted teeth, wishing more than anything that red lights were never invented as he slows to a stop, traffic laws delaying him in getting to his destination.

“i do. not my fault i always wanna fuck my gorgeous boyfriend.” you lean up when you speak, placing a kiss on the shell of his ear.

“fuck baby…” he trails off, getting momentarily distracted when your tongue starts licking up the side of his neck, your teeth biting down on his shoulder. he refocuses when you pull away, smiling flirtatiously at him in the mirror. “it’s a good thing then that i love fucking my gorgeous girlfriend, huh?” he looks at you for a second longer before stepping on the gas when the light turns green.

“it’s because we’re perfect for each other.”

you see jaemin’s reflection in the driver’s side window and catch him smiling wide - the sight prompting you to do the same.

“yeah, i guess we are,” jaemin concludes, still smiling as he makes a turn, your apartment only a few blocks away. you watch his reflection, loving his smile as you always do, but you also can’t wait to see the way he’ll smile down at you when you get home and you get his dick in your mouth.

jaemin’s smile is your favorite feature of his - no matter how you’re making him do it.

net tag: @kbookshelf

[johnnysuhbmarine]

My Lips are Sealed

Pairing: Jeno x reader Description: Your childhood was nothing short of amazing with twinbrother!Jaemin and bestfriend!Jeno. It was the three of you against the world, and all Jaemin asked was that you and Jeno not get involved with each other. It was a simple rule, but one that Jeno convinced you to give up on by the end of your senior year of high school. While you’re ready to navigate the extent of both your feelings, Jeno was ready to pretend that one shared kiss never existed, tearing apart your friendship in the process. Though, with college graduation came the famed trip to Hawaii the three of you had planned since childhood. Now it was just a matter of if four years of no contact between you and Jeno was something you could come back from. Content warnings: mentions of alcohol, a little bit of angst with a happy ending. Please let me know if I’ve missed anything. Word count: 12,825 :) A/n: I had wips started for other members before the idea of this existed but I can’t help myself from writing about Jeno. I hope you all are doing well - I’m rooting for you! Please enjoy, or don’t…I can’t tell you what to do. As always, feedback would be GREATLY appreciated :)

You were alone on the outskirts of the venue, already tired of getting stepped on by everyone jumping up and down, or worse, having to withstand watching all the couples dance to the slow songs. Prom night was not all that those movies chalked it up to be, not when you’re single, anyways. That being said, the theme was masquerade and you were currently walking through the garden, so you didn’t miss the opportunity to at least romanticize your night a little bit. 

You’re broken out of your thoughts when you hear footsteps behind you, and you turn from the rose bushes to lay eyes on a figure you knew all too well, a small smile coming onto your features as you meet his masked gaze. As soon as you turned around to face him, his movements grew clumsier, and he softly laughed over them as he spoke. “Hey there. I don’t mean to come on too strong but, you look beautiful.” His words were firm but you just raised an eyebrow and shook your head.

“Jeno, I know you know it’s me.” You reply with a dry laugh.

He looks back over his shoulder before turning towards you once more, confused. “Jeno? Who’s Jeno?” 

Your raised brow quickly furrows as you look at him. The masks adorning your faces in no way made either of you unrecognizable to each other when you’ve quite literally grown up together. You were sure that was Jeno, and you were sure he knew who you were under that mask, too. “What are you playing at?” You ask, any remaining patience for his games leaving your voice. To your surprise, Jeno’s shoulders dropped, and he looked around again to make sure no one else was nearby before moving closer to you. 

“You know Jaemin’s one rule for me?” He questions, and you swallow hard because of course you knew the rule your twin brother had set in place since you were five, but you couldn’t figure out why that was any bit relevant right now. 

“That you’re not allowed to get involved with me?” You answer hesitantly, and Jeno nods his head.

“Yeah, that one. It’s kind of a pain.” He says with a light laugh.

You drop your head to face the floor, all your courage escaping you as you acknowledge the one thing you’ve been pushing down for years. “...yeah.” You breathe out in agreement, and the corner of Jeno’s mouth quirks up in a smirk. 

He takes a step closer to you. “So, what if our masquerade outfits were just so good that we couldn’t recognize each other?” He asks in something close to a whisper. “That I didn’t know it was you?” He takes another step, you can feel his breath as you look back up to face him with wide eyes. “Could I kiss you then?” He finally gets out in a whisper, and your world starts slowing to a pause.

You had to be smart here. Your brother meant the world to you, having his trust meant the world to you, and all he ever asked for was that you and Jeno not get involved…well, he made it more of a demand on Jeno’s end. For over a decade, you abided by it with no mishaps, but it never changed the fact that your soul has been aching for Jeno all that time - that it still is. You didn’t know what to do. “Jeno…” You whisper back, all of your thoughts ending right there. Thankfully, he picks back up and, for better or worse, doesn’t know how to quit.

“What if it was just an honest mistake? He can’t get mad at us for that, can he?” He continues to dig at it, reaching for the answer he wanted in response to his twisted logic. His hand had already come up to cup your cheek, and you shift your gaze to make eye contact with him, trying to take back some dominance as opposed to turning into a puddle. Your wide, soft, helpless eyes were nothing in comparison to the longing you saw in his.

Jeno had regained all his confidence and composure long since he stumbled through calling you beautiful. Everything now was meticulous, completely controlled by Jeno, and you wonder how long he had been planning this. Since the theme was announced? All those months ago? You can’t imagine having missed his pining after you for that long, especially when you’ve been looking for a hidden meaning to his every action for years now, and yet, he stood in front of you now in seriousness - seriously looking as though he might die if you don’t let him kiss you. 

You move your gaze back down to his chest - anywhere that wasn’t his eyes as you respond as surely as you could. “If you’re going to kiss me, whoever you are, do it now.”

The only pause Jeno took in between your consent and him actually kissing you was to smile like a kid who just got told they were getting dessert for dinner. Then he leaned in and kissed you gently. It might have been the fact that you were in a long dress and he was in a suit, but it felt like you were in a fairytale - the world around you quieted, the stars shining down on the two of you as if the universe had been waiting for this moment. The kiss was soft and delicate, Jeno never pressing to deepen it. Instead, he held onto you as though you were fragile, like any harsh movement would break everything, make it all disappear, and he would die before letting that happen. 

When you break away, Jeno rests his forehead against yours, the two of you now caught up in soft smiles and laughter that you couldn’t be too obvious about. Though, almost immediately, they were calling for everyone to get together for the reveal of prom king and queen. You look up at Jeno through your eyelashes. “Should we go see if Jaemin’s won prom king?” 

Jeno nods his head against yours. “Yeah, he’ll be looking for us after, anyways.” He replies, though he makes no effort to move. Instead, he sneaks in about a thousand small pecks at your lips until you turn back into a giggling mess. 

“Okay, okay, stop!” You finally get out in between laughs, moving back from his figure to instead grab his hand and drag him with you towards the main floor of the venue. You typically weren’t one for holding hands, but now you’re sure it’s just because you’ve never held Jeno’s before. His fingers intertwined with your own like they finally found their home, and you know Jeno’s hand was the only one meant for yours. However, the second you meet back up with the big crowd facing the stage, you let his hand drop and he didn’t fight to keep them together, he couldn’t…you both knew that.

To no one’s surprise, Jaemin was crowned prom king. The entire crowd broke into cheers, but Jaemin just stood on stage and scanned the audience for you and Jeno, finally finding the two of you with a small smile on his lips to level out the brightest of smiles held in his eyes. You made eye contact with your brother and nodded softly before joining the rest of the crowd in clapping. Though in seconds, everyone’s attention was turned to the sky as fireworks were set off in celebration. With Jaemin still not off the stage, Jeno leaned down at his side so that his lips were by your ear, though his eyes stayed trained on the fireworks. “That’s what kissing you feels like.” He whispers, and your entire face heats up. You take your eyes off the fireworks to turn and look at him, giving him a playful shove.

“Shut up.” You say, but your words meant nothing amidst the smile on your face. Jeno just laughs, turning his attention back to the fireworks still going off. Though, he quietly grabbed your hand back in his, playing with your fingers as the rest of the fireworks kept everyone’s attention on the sky. 

That was the last remotely romantic moment you had with Jeno. 

Jaemin found you both after the fireworks ended, and the three of you hung around together for the rest of the night. You immediately hugged Jaemin once he made his way over to you. “Congrats on the win, king.” You say, and Jaemin just flashes you a proud smirk before leading you all away from the bigger crowds so you had space to actually breathe. 

The dance ended an hour later and you all filed into Jaemin’s car so he could drive home. “That was actually a pretty nice night, yeah?” He asks, taking a glance over at you in the passenger seat and back to Jeno through the rear view mirror. 

You nod your head in agreement as Jeno is the one to elaborate. “Yeah, my favorite part was the fireworks.” He responds cooly, but your face heats up. You had no clue if he was talking about the actual fireworks or the fireworks that he claims went off when you two kissed earlier that night, and you couldn’t risk turning around to look at him and figure it out in his gaze. 

Instead, you just duck your head, idly messing with your fingers as you add on softly. “Yeah, the fireworks were nice.” 

Jaemin stared over at you with a look in his eyes as though he were trying to figure you out. Being twins, it wasn’t really a surprise that he knew you sometimes better than you knew yourself, but it was instances like these where you wish he didn’t. Thankfully, if he found any deeper meaning to your words, he didn’t question it, instead just humming happily in agreement before going over his own favorite parts of the night. 

Jeno ended up sleeping over with the excuse that your post-prom movie night ran too long - you and Jaemin told him that he should’ve planned on sleeping over from the start. Regardless, the next morning, you and Jeno ended up being the first ones awake. You walk out of your bedroom to see him in the kitchen, leaning over the counter with a cup of coffee and idly scrolling on his phone. You smile at the sight of him in pajamas with messy hair, though you figure you looked about the same after just rolling out of bed.

“Hey.” You say, lightly enough to get his attention without risking waking up anyone else. His eyes snap onto your figure, a small smile coming onto his face as he begins to move.

“Hey, good morning. Do you want your coffee? I already made it - one cream, two sugars and all that.” He turns back to you with a smirk, a different mug in his hand now as his eyebrows raise in wait for your answer. He places his other hand around the actual mug to feel the temperature before nodding slightly. “It’s drinkable for you now.” He continues with a smile, sliding the mug over to where you’ve moved to stand on the other side of the counter. “Cause you know, you’re super scared of burning your tongue…even though the funny feeling goes away in like- a day.” He teases. “But anyways, I made it when I made mine so yours could cool down a bit until you got up.”

You duck your head, hiding a laugh. Jeno knew you a little too well sometimes, but you’d be lying if you said you couldn’t do the same in a reverse scenario - how he took his coffee was a fact far past memorized for you. “Thank you.” You say quietly, grabbing the mug from his hands and taking a sip with no hesitation. It was, in fact, your perfect cup of coffee. “How long have you been up?” You ask, and Jeno turns around to look at the clock on the microwave before doing math in his head.

“A little over thirty minutes. Your coffee hasn’t been waiting that long, I promise. It took me a while to convince myself to get out of bed.” He answers with a small laugh, and you flash your eyebrows in recognition as you take another sip. 

With you and Jeno hanging out practically every day, there wasn’t much small talk you could ever make - nothing to catch up on when you were there to actually experience all his stories in the first place. So, you turn your head towards the backyard windows, looking out as you try and build up the courage to say what was actually on your mind. “Are we gonna talk about it?” You ask quietly, still not brave enough to look Jeno in the face and see his reaction.

You figure that was probably for the best when he replies neutrally. “About what?” 

A stab to the heart was what that reply was, confusion coursing through your veins knowing he was the one begging to kiss you last night. You spent all these years helplessly pining after Jeno but he apparently kissed you just for fun - nothing that would matter the next morning, nothing to talk about. “Oh.” You say, trying your best not to sound hurt as you place your coffee back down on the counter. Without another word, you walk back upstairs to your room, passing by Jaemin who had just woken up. 

“Good morning.” He says with his typical smile, but you stay staring at your feet in front of you.

“Morning.” You reply quietly, sure your voice would crack with tears if you dared speak any louder. Jaemin furrows his brows at your behavior, but before he can question anything, you’re already back in your room and behind closed doors. So instead, he continues with his walk downstairs to find a distraught Jeno and your unfinished cup of coffee sitting on the counter. Jaemin just sighs as he moves to start making his own coffee, praying that whatever it was that had the two of you bothered would work itself out in no time. 

That never happened. 

You started avoiding Jeno after that morning, hiding in your room whenever he would come over or making sure you had plans to get you out of the house entirely; anything to make yourself scarce. It was a stupid way to spend your last summer before college - hiding from your best friend, but you couldn’t help the fact that any reminder of him now hurt. You had spent too long crushing on Jeno just for him to string you along with one kiss and then pretend nothing happened. Truthfully, you would have rather him rejected you outright instead of ghosting over the subject and leaving you without closure. 

After the first week of you blatantly avoiding Jeno, he too stopped trying to reach out - wouldn’t ask where you were headed as you left through the front door, wouldn’t knock on your bedroom door and ask if you wanted what Jaemin and himself just made for dinner, wouldn’t text and ask how your day went, wouldn’t say ‘hi’ in passing…all that was left of your relationship was the fact that he never left your mind and the way he would still stare after you with an unreadable expression whenever you walked away from him.

Jaemin let it go in the beginning, but soon enough he couldn’t bear the tension, nor the fact that now on any given day, he had to choose between hanging out with you or Jeno, when it used to be the three of you against the world. It was mid-summer when the two of you had gone out for ice cream one day. The entire outing was as normal as ever, but as Jaemin pulled in front of your house to park, he didn’t turn the car off right away. You look over at him in question as you unbuckle your seatbelt, but he just sighs.

“I know there’s something going on between you and Jeno,” he starts, and you sink back into your own seat. “But I also know you, so there’s no point in trying to figure out what happened because you’ll never tell me. But I just- are you okay?” He finishes, swinging his gaze over to you with a hint of worry in his eyes. 

You can’t bring yourself to meet his gaze, instead just shaking your head and trying to make sure it shakes back your tears as well. “I don’t know.” You answer hoarsely. Nothing has felt normal since you and Jeno stopped talking, but the idea of facing him now filled you with anxiety. Jaemin leaned over to wrap you in an awkward hug and you finally let some tears fall in his embrace. 

“Please just tell me Jeno isn’t the reason you’re going to a different university.” He says in a near whisper, and more things in your brain start to click. Before going to NCIT together was ever a plan between you, Jeno, and Jaemin, it was a plan between you and Jaemin. Choosing at the last minute to instead enroll elsewhere probably hurt Jaemin a lot more than he let on when you made the decision last month. Thankfully, you can at least reassure him that you weren’t letting a boy control your life…sort of. 

“He’s not. You know this one has a better program for what I want to do anyways. Sure, the situation with Jeno didn’t necessarily help in convincing me to stick with our original plan, but maybe some actual time away from each other will help mend things.” 

Jaemin breaks from the hug to resume a normal sitting position in his car, his hands idly fiddling with each other. “I’m sorry you two aren’t close anymore. I know- I know he meant a lot to you.” 

You shake your head, using your palm to wipe away any remnants of tears as you reply. “Just the normal amount.” Your words come out weak, as though the lie could hardly care to exist in the first place. You swallow back the awkwardness that came with your words, wondering how well your brother was able to read you today. Though, dwelling on it wouldn’t do any good, so instead you turn to face Jaemin with intent, a few traces of guilt hidden within your features if you look hard enough. “I’m sorry you have to be caught in the middle of it.” You say, and Jaemin lets out a light sigh that you think was meant to be laughter.

“Don’t worry about me. I’ve navigated it for half the summer already.” He says with a teasing smirk that finally gets the atmosphere to lighten. “Besides, some time apart will mend everything and we’ll be all good to go for our graduation trip, yeah?” 

Despite yourself, a small smile comes onto your face. The three of you had been planning to spend a week in Hawaii after college graduation for almost as long as you could remember, and if there was one thing you weren’t going back on, it was a trip to Hawaii. “Yeah, that graduation trip stays as planned no matter what.” You reply, turning to face him so he could see your smile again. Jaemin nodded lightly, finally turning the car off as the two of you get out and head for the door. 

Fast forward four years and time did not mend things, but your graduation trip stayed as planned. Neither you nor Jeno ever attempted to reach back out during college, but neither you nor Jeno had it in you to bow out of the graduation trip or even slightly alter the plans. So, when Jeno joined the two of you outside, loading Jaemin’s car with luggage, he sent a small ‘hi’ your way. You just nod in response. There was no way the two of you could go the entire trip without talking, you knew that, but that didn’t mean you were ready to act as though the last four years of radio silence didn’t happen. In fact, pretending things didn’t happen was the last thing you’ve been wanting this entire time. 

Jeno lets out a soft sigh at your lack of a verbal response as you instead just slide into the back seat of the car. Jaemin comes around to place a comforting hand on Jeno’s shoulder. “Give her time. It wasn’t just separate colleges that had the two of you grow apart, it was that entire last summer of purposefully avoiding each other. Before you’re upset that you can’t pick up where you left off, remember that 50% of the blame is your own. You stopped talking to her, too. Where you ‘left off’ was not as best friends.” 

Jeno shakes his head. “Don’t worry. I wasn’t expecting us to be that close again.” He states plainly, and the tiniest of frowns flashes across Jaemin’s face before he motions for the two of them to get in the car as well, the ride to the airport filled entirely with music as you stared out the window. 

On the airplane, Jaemin sat in the middle, with Jeno taking the aisle and you the window seat. For a while, all three of you were doing your own separate things, but about an hour and a half into the flight, Jaemin pulled out the nintendo switch, propping it up on the tray table and switching his gaze back and forth between you and Jeno with raised, expectant eyebrows. You wave him off, turning your attention back to the window as Jeno is the one to take the other controller from Jaemin’s hands. Together, they played through three circuits of mariokart before Jaemin finally turned it off and started trying to fall asleep, laying his head against your shoulder. 

It was maybe fifteen minutes later when you feel a tap on your thigh. You quickly turn your attention from the window to the touch, tracing it back up to Jeno. He had booted up the switch again, mariokart waiting on the multiplayer home screen. You look back down to see one of the remotes held out for you in the hand that had gained your attention in the first place. You turn back to look at him; his eyes were wide in anticipation but he looked small as he silently asked for you to play with him. You breathe out a soft sigh, taking the remote from his hand before turning back to him. “I’m going to beat your ass.” You whisper over Jaemin’s head. Jeno turns to face the console rather than you to try and cover up the wide smile that your familiar tease placed on his lips. Unbeknownst to the two of you, the corners of Jaemin’s lips perked up in a grin, too, before he quickly started back on his attempt at falling asleep.

You must have played through every map with Jeno, with it unfortunately being a toss up for who took first on any given circuit. You finally hand him the remote back as he shuts the console down and situates himself so that he can fall asleep, too. You resumed your previous task of staring out the window and listening to music, Jaemin asleep on your shoulder and Jeno on his. Life wasn’t back to normal by a long shot, but a trip to Hawaii wasn’t necessarily normal either - so maybe despite it all, it was going to be okay. 

Hours later, the three of you step into the hotel room which might as well have been a house. Three separate bedrooms and bathrooms for each of you, all connected by a kitchen and living room. With you not getting any sleep on the flight, you immediately started on unpacking and getting ready for bed. Meanwhile, Jaemin and Jeno just threw their bags on the floor and headed down to the bar in the lobby, a common way to kill time that they picked up back in college. 

The next day, the dynamic was much the same. The guys hung around the beach and bar all day while you went for a bike ride down the coast, got a massage, randomly joined the hotel’s ping pong tournament where you were probably too excited to crush a thirteen year old in the finals, and remained pool-side for the rest of the first day. 

When you finally met back up with Jaemin and Jeno, it was for dinner. You were given free drink coupons for winning the ping pong tournament, so you all decided to eat at the hotel restaurant just off the shore. You don’t think you had ever seen the boys as confused as when you told them the story behind the coupons, but they weren’t going to question it if it meant you were willing to share the free drinks with them. 

Dinner itself was still awkward. It was either you talking to Jaemin or Jeno talking to Jaemin, and the other would pretend to be really invested in their food during the other’s conversation. Though, Jaemin didn’t seem bothered. At least, he didn’t push for the two of you to finally get over it and resolve the tension. So, you didn’t, and dinner became a game of you and Jeno trying to avoid eye contact at all costs. 

Regardless, the night quickly came to a close, and when the opportunity arose to join Jaemin and Jeno on the living room couch and watch Forensic Files, you politely declined and turned on the TV in your own bedroom instead. 

Trying to finally fall asleep around midnight would have been a lot easier if it didn’t decide to storm so horrendously. The lightning lit up everything around you as the thunder shook the room violently - or maybe it was just you that was violently shaking. You were never good with storms; they have always terrified you since you were little. Currently, this one had you curled up in a ball sitting atop your bed, silent tears rushing down your cheeks.

It was maybe twenty minutes into the storm when your bedroom door cracked open. You quickly wipe stray tears off your face as you look up to meet the presence standing meekly in the doorframe, their head turned down to face the floor. You knew the silhouette’s body frame, though, and it wasn’t Jaemin’s. 

“Jeno?” You ask hoarsely. 

Slowly, he brings his gaze up to meet yours, sucking on his bottom lip in hesitation before he speaks. “Are you still scared of storms?” He asks softly.

You freeze, wiping your eyes once more to make sure your face was clear of tears. “N-no.” You stammer out, voice cracking as you do. For some reason, Jeno just lets out a light exhale of laughter.

“You would be more convincing if you weren’t sitting in a ball and shaking.” He remarks more playfully. You just drop your face to stare into your knees, not wanting to look at him as you reply with words you couldn’t come back from.

“Please, just- come here.” You say in a near whisper, though Jeno picks up on it immediately. He finally moves from the door frame, stepping inside your room, shutting the door behind him, and joining you on top of your bed. 

He sat beside you, less than a foot away but making sure not to touch you. Despite the fact that it was a considerate gesture, it felt kind of stupid seeing as all your interactions used to start and end with the biggest hugs; and now here you were, needing comfort, and Jeno was scared to touch you. 

“How can I help take your mind off of it?” He asks, and you just shake your head. All this time, and you never figured out much to do other than wait it out in fear. That’s when another bout of lightning strikes, the crack of thunder feeling like it came from right behind you. Immediately, you flinch and start crying some more, and without spending too much time thinking about it, you lean into Jeno’s body at your left.

His breath hitches for the smallest of moments before he immediately wraps your balled figure in his arms, rubbing a comforting hand up and down your back. “Hey, it’s okay.” He says softly. You shake off his attempt to calm you down. 

“I’m terrified, Jeno.” You mumble out weakly, and Jeno just takes a deep breath before pulling you closer to him.

“I know, but I got you.”

At his words, some tension leaves your body. All this time avoiding each other but still all you knew to do was trust Jeno. One of his hands remains running up and down your back, the other tightly wrapped around your body as you speak into his chest. “Were you still awake, too?” You ask, and you feel Jeno shake his head.

“No, but the second the storm woke me up, all I could think about was you and whether or not you were able to fall asleep before it started. I mean, you sleep through this stuff like a rock, but if you aren’t already sleeping when it starts, all you do is shake. I just- needed to come make sure you were okay, or…” He drags off for a second, sucking on his bottom lip as he stares down at you in his arms. “At least, not alone.” 

You let out a heavy breath, not able to tell if you were more mad at the fact that Jeno knew you so well or that something like a storm made you panic and put you in this situation in the first place. “It’s stupid. I’m twenty-two years old. I shouldn’t be scared of storms anymore.” 

“Y/n,” he says, but his soft tone comes with a bite of seriousness. “It’s not stupid. You don’t expect someone who’s afraid of spiders or snakes to ever get over it, no matter how old they are. It’s not childish to be afraid of something. Don’t put yourself in some weird double-standard.” 

You shake your head that’s still buried in his chest. “Those are spiders and snakes - almost everyone finds those scary. These are storms.” You scoff, but Jeno cuts you off there. 

He unravels one arm from around your body to instead place his hand under your chin and direct your tear-glazed gaze back to him, making sure you could see he was serious as he replied. “And they’re scary to you, which is all that matters to me.” 

You quickly begin to cry again, this time because of his words rather than the storm. Your arms let go from their grip around your curled up legs so you can instead wrap them around Jeno’s waist and bury your head back into his chest. He just holds you closer in response, speaking into your hair. “We’ll wait it out together, yeah?” He prompts, but before you could even reply, he’s back to rubbing comforting circles on your skin, not giving you much of a choice. 

He holds you in silence for a little bit, an innumerable amount of thoughts plaguing both of your minds as the storm still raged outside. However, when Jeno couldn’t remember the last big strike of lightning, he began to shift in his spot, an arm unraveling from your body. “I think it’s died down-”

That was as far as he got before he felt your arm grab his wrist and wrap it back around your body. In the darkness, he let the brightest smile reach his face, taking a moment to squeeze you extra tight. That’s when more lightning hit and your figure began to tremble in his arms again, the smallest of whimpers escaping you. Jeno let out a soft sigh, running a hand through your hair. “Don’t worry. I won’t go anywhere.” He says smoothly. Though, as he shuffles slightly to check the time on his watch, he lets out a small exhale of laughter. “But you have to keep me entertained then. What’s new?” He asks playfully, but the question surprises you. New? Nothing on your mind was about anything new in your life and you couldn’t bring yourself to find anything new to talk about. So instead, you squeeze your eyes shut and build up the courage to address the one thing that was very much not new.

“Jeno, what was that all about when we were eighteen?” You ask, the words coming out more firm than any of your others so far that night. 

Jeno’s arms around you stiffen, and he manages to let out a wry laugh. “Do you still think about that?” He asks in return, and you swear you could feel the knife through your chest this time.

“Every day. Am I not supposed to? Did that not matter to you?” You shoot back, finding more emotion with every word. 

Jeno sighs deeply. “Y/n, nothing’s ever mattered to me more than that night…except maybe this one if I can get it right.” He speaks softly, hesitantly, as though he were scared of saying something wrong. He hasn’t yet, though. All he’s done is confuse you.

“What?” You ask, matching his voice level. Jeno shakes his head and you think he’s shutting off completely, but instead he just picks you up from out of the hug and places you so that you’re sitting face-to-face with him. Surprising you, he reaches out his hands and starts idly playing with your fingers. His head was dropped to face his lap, it was like having your touch was his last strength. Then he starts talking.

“Y/n, you’ve kept my heart and mind occupied for the last four years - before that, really. Long before that. The moment I understood what a crush was, I had a crush on you. All that tiny-me wanted to do was hold your hand.” As he says this, he ceases fiddling with your fingers to instead intertwine them with his own; staring at the interlocked hands with a weak grin before promptly pulling away again and dropping his hands to rest in front of his lap. “Um- but I couldn’t because of course that was the one thing Jaemin told me not to do. I couldn’t get involved with you. So, I didn’t, and I pretended to be interested in other girls in high school so that he wouldn’t get suspicious. But then that prom theme was announced and I found my one in - a stupid one, but an in. That was my one chance to do something about the ache in my chest all those years. Except, it really didn’t fix anything at all. We kissed and I haven’t known a day of peace since - my lips long for yours every second of every day. I didn’t date at all in college. Jaemin would tease me about the fact that I was one-half of the hot duo of best friends but never managed to get with a girl, and I didn’t know how to tell him my heart was already yours - that it’s been yours longer than it’s been mine.”

Suddenly, Jeno was making your world slow down again. His smooth voice saying words you didn’t know you needed to hear, bringing light to the dustiest corners of your heart, making you feel whole again, and yet, none of it made sense. “Then why- that morning- why…?” That was all you could get out before the tears previously pricking at the corners of your eyes began to speed down your cheeks. You didn’t need to finish your question though. Jeno knew exactly what you were getting at, and he was already preparing himself to address it before you even brought it up. 

He shakes his head slowly, defeated as he draws back on the past. “I was a stupid eighteen year old kid. Every night, I go back to that morning and think about what I could’ve done differently - what I should’ve done. There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t regret letting you walk away. The truth is, I was terrified. I didn’t want to lose either you or Jaemin, and I didn’t know how to address what happened without risking doing so; which feels stupid to say because acting how I did was a direct path to losing you. I never gave either of us the chance for closure and then lost you anyways. Every day since, I wanted to reach out, ask how you were, beg for you to let me back into your life, but I struggled with thinking I was worthy of that in the slightest. I still haven’t forgiven myself for it, I don’t think I deserve to. I don’t ever want to be okay with the fact that I let you walk away from me. I want to make sure I can never make that mistake again. That morning, I thought I could have my cake and eat it, too. I got to kiss you but I never had to let it get out and make Jaemin hate me. I was selfish when I decided not to talk about it that day. That’s the all of it. I was selfish. Which is funny because I was selfish when I asked to kiss you, too. I just don’t know how the same state of being could lead to the best thing I’ve ever done and the worst thing I’ve ever done.”

By the time he finished talking, silent tears were running down his face as well. You had never seen him as broken as he looked before you now, and when lightning flashed through the entire room and thunder rumbled through you, you couldn’t bring yourself to care. All you could care about was Jeno. 

“So, if we went back-” You start, but Jeno had already whipped his head up to face you, his sure gaze looking out of place amidst his tear-stained face.

“I would’ve told you we could talk about it whenever you wanted - whenever you were ready, and if it was that very second, I would’ve started explaining. Every time you’ve made my heart race and my stupid plan that formed the second I heard the theme for prom. How kissing you truly was like fireworks going off and it drove me crazy in all the best ways. How I want to be able to kiss you again and again if you’d let me, and that when Jaemin inevitably finds out, I’d take the blame for everything, but the last thing I’d do is apologize for it. I’d never apologize for loving you, the opposite, actually; I’d shout it out to the streets, people would be tired of hearing how much I care about you.” He manages to let the smallest of laughs play on his lips, but his gaze drops back down to his lap as embarrassment flushes his cheeks. “I mean- I don’t even know if you liked me back, but if you did, that would have been the last time you ever woke up without a goodmorning kiss from me.” 

You let out a light sigh, facing the comforter to hide the weak smile that painted its way across your face. When you finally pick your head back up, your arm moves up with it. Gently, you place a hand on Jeno’s cheek, thumb moving to wipe at the tears under his eyes as you guide his gaze back to you. The two of you held eye contact, your breathing and the rain outside being the only sounds to fill the room before you spoke up with a small encouraging nod. “Jeno, it’s okay to forgive yourself.” You say softly, and you watch as Jeno breaks.

His soft, silent tears turned into him bawling his eyes out, and you watch as he leaned forward, grabbing for you, hiding his face in the fabric of your shirt as his tears stain your shoulder. You wrap your arms around him tightly, occasionally running a hand through his hair as you wait for his sobs to stop. 

When he finally calms down, he pulls back from the hug again, wiping his face clean of tears, and dodging your eye contact. “I’m sorry.” He mumbles out, but you shake your head.

“I forgave you a long time ago...way before I wanted to, but I couldn't help it.” You say seriously, and Jeno finds the strength to meet your gaze again, enough for you to see the shock and question in his eyes. “I wanted to reach out, but I just- never knew how to begin again after all of that.” You continue solemnly. 

Jeno nods his head in contemplation, but soon enough, a small hopeful smile accompanies his features again. “We can start like this.” He says softly. Then he picks you up, turning you around and placing you back down on his lap, his arms wrapping around your torso from behind as his chin rests on your shoulder. “Tell me everything I missed from the last four years.” He prompts, and at every point where you could have fought back, you don’t. Instead, a grin spreads across your face and you just start talking. 

Jeno listens to you talk for what seemed like an hour at least, and in turn you do the same as he recounts every story from college that Jaemin hadn’t already told you…and some that he had - if it was a crime to enjoy listening to Jeno talk, then so be it. Though, once you caught each other up to speed, neither of you were content with heading to bed. Instead, you continued to talk about everything imaginable. The storm outside could have raged on, you weren’t aware. The only worry you had was whether you and Jeno were laughing so loud that it would wake up Jaemin. 

Eventually, the two of you had moved so that Jeno’s legs were laid out in front of him and your head was on his lap as you lay down perpendicular to his figure. You were in the middle of talking about obscure superpowers you would want, and why your choice was much better than Jeno’s. You rambled for who knows how long, but you finally look up to meet Jeno’s soft gaze, a corner of his mouth perked up in a smirk that you couldn’t describe as anything else but fond. Immediately, you cut yourself off, furrowing your brows at Jeno as you change the subject. “Stop looking at me like that.” You say, and Jeno seems to visibly snap back to the present moment.

“Like what?” He questions genuinely, causing you to roll your eyes.

“Like you want to kiss me.” You reply plainly. 

Jeno lets out a small laugh, shaking his head. “Well, I do want to kiss you, it’s not just a look.” He says, taking one of his hands to brush your hair out of your face. 

You sigh, turning your head away to face the wall rather than him. “Jeno, I can’t fold that quickly. Not after four years of building up walls.” You say in a near whisper. 

His smirk fades as he purses his lips, hurt flashing across his features as he thinks back on the past four years. He swallows harshly, still running his fingers through your hair as he responds. “I know. I’m not asking you to. It’s my fault they’re there in the first place. You just asked what my look was about, so I figured I should tell you. I’ll try not to make it so obvious. I don’t mean to make things awkward between us now.” 

As he finishes talking, you move to face him again, brows furrowed in confusion and you realize you never addressed one specific thing he said. “Jeno, you won’t make things awkward between us. You said you don’t know if I even liked you back during senior year but- Jeno, I’ve had a crush on you for forever. I’ve always liked you back. I liked you back before I even knew I was liking you ‘back.’ I didn’t care - you were everything I ever wanted growing up, and though you’re an idiot sometimes, you still are.” At your words, tension visibly leaves Jeno’s body, small smiles teasing at both your lips as you make eye contact.

“Y/n, I know we’re still getting over years of hurt, and my actions meant you had it a lot worse but- if you really mean it, I’ll wait forever for your walls to come down again. It’s just you for me.” 

You sit back upright again, facing Jeno and trying not to think about how red your face felt and therefore probably was. “Just give me a little bit of time. When I get tired of you staring at me like that and not actually kissing me, I’ll talk to Jaemin. It’ll be a much easier conversation for him to have with me than if it were with you. Then the second he agrees to get rid of his stupid rule, I’m running right to you and kissing your pretty lips. Just give me some more time to heal.” 

Jeno nods, his crescent-eyed smile revealing itself for the first time since the trip started. “You have all the time in the world.” He reassures, but you just laugh a little bit, not missing an opportunity to tease him.

“Well, I should probably figure things out before we’re old and gray. ‘All the time in the world’ might not be the best-” He cuts you off, shaking his head.

“Nope. Not a problem. Not when time stops while I’m with you.” He replies confidently, and you freeze as your teasing attempt gets turned on its head. 

“Oh, shut up.” You say playfully, and when Jeno’s cheeks puff out as he smiles in response, you don’t think twice before leaning forward and pressing a small kiss to one of them. You immediately dodge eye contact as you pull back, but Jeno doesn’t let you off the hook that easily. He grabs at one of your hands, pulling your body back to face him and his stupid perfect smile.

“I so got you.” He says, but instead of a hint of arrogance covering his words, they’re spoken as though he can’t believe his luck. You duck your head, laughing a little. 

“Give me time - if not to get over my hurt then at least to build up courage to talk to Jaemin. Besides, I’d like to spend some more time with you under the best-friend label again anyways. I’ve missed it.” You say, and Jeno nods, already on the same wavelength as you. 

You don’t question it when the best-friend label looks a little different the rest of the night than it has in the past. Neither you nor Jeno had any intention of going to bed anymore, but that didn’t change the fact that laying down was the comfiest position, and if that came with Jeno spooning you as you both continued to talk about every topic in existence, well…you were just really close best friends. 

When you look over at the nightstand and realize a bright 6:28 on the clock is facing you back, you figure it was an acceptable time to actually start the morning. “You wanna go make coffee?” You ask plainly. You had reached the point where you’ve been without sleep for so long that it felt like you were fully energized again, completely ready to start the day. Jeno seemed to have been the same way, because your regular tone as opposed to your previously light, soft statements didn’t faze him. Although, he seemed thoroughly against your idea of getting up, shaking his head as he spoke.

“I can’t hold you if we’re out there.” He says through a pout, causing you to laugh. The two of you managed to find your way back to sitting up during the early hours of the morning, and he currently had you locked in your position on his lap, with no intentions of letting go. 

You run your hands over his arms around you, the light touch sending shivers throughout Jeno’s body. “You’ve held me for the past six hours. I think you should be sick of it by now.” You reply playfully, but Jeno just raises his eyebrows in suspicion. 

“Are you sick of it yet?” He teases, and all you can do is purse your lips because you knew he just won. 

Instead of giving him an answer, you just start trying to unravel his arms from around your body. “Not relevant.” You say through a smile. “Come on, Jen. Let’s make coffee.” 

Within milliseconds, Jeno has let you go and is up off the bed. “Okay! Let’s go!” He replies in a rush. You stare at him in confusion, wondering what had him flip so quickly. 

“Are you okay?” You ask with a laugh. Jeno just gives you the biggest crescent-eyed smile. 

“You called me ‘Jen.’” 

Your eyebrows remain raised, though now it’s more so because of skepticism rather than confusion. “You’re all giddy because I took one letter off your name?” You question, and Jeno just ducks his head to avoid eye contact with you. You roll your eyes instead. “Remind me in the future not to give you any pet names. Not if you’re already like this over ‘Jen.’” You tease, but Jeno shoots his head back up to look at you, betrayal crossing his features. You let out a light laugh. “I’m kidding. Let’s go.” You say, and Jeno finds his smile again as he grabs your hand to pull you out of bed, your fingers instantly falling from each other the second you open your bedroom door and step into the living area. 

Jeno motions for you to sit down at the table while he makes his way behind the counter and to the coffee machine. You watch as he grabs two mugs, and you know he’s starting on making your coffee first so it can cool down a bit while his own brews. You study his figure intently, a grateful smile coming onto your face as you duck your head, taking in the fact that this was another chance at the morning after prom, except this time, you’ve already done all the talking; now he just gets to make coffee and keep your already full heart company. 

You think the second coffee was halfway through brewing by the time you look back up towards Jeno. You freeze when you realize he was already staring at you, his features soft. He can’t stop the smile, nor the blush, from coming onto his face as you look back at him, and he immediately directs his attention back to the coffee machine, shaking his head as his smile grows bigger the more he dwells on the moment, and you know he’s thinking the same thing you were, this time thanking his lucky stars that you were still sitting there smiling back at him. 

Soon, it was just you and Jeno sitting across from each other, drinking coffee, watching the sun rise through the window, occasionally kicking each other’s feet underneath the table, and continuing with your never ending conversation. You were on your second round of coffee, Jeno on his third, when another bedroom door opens and Jaemin walks out lazily. Your face falls into concern as you fade out of your conversation with Jeno. “Hey, Jaem. Sorry if we were the reason you woke up.” You say genuinely, but he shakes it off.

“No, you’re all good. There was just some laughing that-” He cuts himself off, finally seeming to focus his attention on the scene in front of him. “Laughing? You guys are talking?” He questions, his tired expression immediately off his face.

You and Jeno share matching smiles as you stare back at Jaemin. “We were both up early and decided maybe holding grudges was not the thing to do in paradise.” Jeno replies, taking a moment to move his gaze from Jaemin and back over to you softly. You miss it though, just nodding along with his words as you watch relief wash over your brother. 

“Thank god.” He breathes out with a laugh, getting you and Jeno to chuckle as well. Immediately, Jaemin is grabbing his own coffee and sitting down with you both, hardly caring about it not even being eight in the morning yet because his best friends were back. 

The three of you sat around the table drinking too much coffee for about another hour before deciding to go on a walk along the coast. Jaemin was still in the middle, with you and Jeno and either end, but it was no longer to stifle the tension. Instead, conversation flowed as it always had between the three of you since you were five years old. Suddenly, the idea of having maybe canceled on the graduation trip just because Jeno was going to be here felt nauseating. This was how it was always meant to be, the three of you together and Jaemin at least playing the part of oblivious to the feelings you and Jeno could hardly suppress. Truthfully, there was no reason for Jaemin to be suspicious. Looking at the bigger picture, if he hadn’t suspected something was up during your high school years, there’s no way he would be able to tell that those very same feelings were still very much there.

When Jaemin suggested lunch a few hours later, you politely declined. “I actually think I’m gonna go up to the room and take a nap for a bit.” You say casually, though Jaemin looks at you as if you had two heads.

“A nap? You never take naps.” He shoots back in confusion. You let out a small laugh, knowing he wasn’t wrong, but then you bring your gaze back up to meet his own with a light shake of your head.

“I didn’t sleep because of the storm last night, so I’m pretty exhausted still.” You reply, but the confusion doesn’t leave Jaemin’s face.

“It stormed last night?!” He questions, apparently having slept through any trace of it. You and Jeno let out a laugh, nodding your heads.

“Yeah, it was pretty bad.” You answer, and Jaemin flashes his eyebrows in recognition before he turns back to you with worry in his eyes.

“Were you okay?” He asks, hints of guilt in his voice knowing how badly storms scared you while he was just sleeping peacefully through it. You quickly rid him of any worry, though, a small smile coming onto your face as you nod.

“Yeah,” you start softly, and it takes everything in you to not look over at Jeno and surely give away what exactly happened last night. “I was okay.” 

Jaemin’s shoulders visibly lose tension as he takes in your positive answer, then he nods his head. “Okay. Well, you can go back up to the room, then. Text us whenever you wake up and we’ll let you know where we’re at-” He says, but Jeno jumps in.

“Actually, Jaemin, I think a few more hours of sleep would do wonders for me, too.” He says with a chuckle. The statement surprises both you and Jaemin, though Jeno continues without missing a beat. “Would you be okay if I went up to the room for a bit, too?” 

Whereas you were worried Jaemin would start putting things together, he just shrugged, his reply full of sarcasm. “Oh no, I’m alone in paradise and the bar has already opened for the day.” He says with raised uninterested eyebrows. “I think I’ll be just fine.” 

The three of you share a bit of laughter before you and Jeno break from Jaemin to go back up to the hotel. You waste no time in slipping right back into pajamas and under the covers, your fatigue fully hitting once you were actually laying down again. Within seconds though, your bedroom door opens and in comes Jeno, pajamas adorning his figure as well. He wastes no time in making his way directly next to you in bed. You just watch as he immediately clings to you, wrapping an arm around your torso and shutting his eyes tight. You let out a small laugh - you should’ve known. “You’re an idiot.” You say playfully, and Jeno opens his eyes back up to stare at you with a pout.

“So, I can’t stay?” He asks, almost completely in defeat if you couldn’t pick up on the hint of playfulness he also shared in his tone.

You roll your eyes, speaking plainly. “You can, but we’re actually sleeping this time. You’re the reason I’m so tired in the first place.”

With your positive response, Jeno instantly pulled you closer to him, but he doesn’t let you take a stab at him that easily. “That wasn’t me, that was the storm.” He replies confidently, but you can practically see the smirk adorning his face, regardless of you being turned away from him. You shake your head with a smile, flipping around in his arms so that he was forced on his back, with you taking up half of his chest so you could face him. 

His familiar smirk was, in fact, painted across his lips, a slight tease in his eyes as he stared back at you. All at once, a wave of extreme consciousness hits you and you realize the only reason you moved to face him was because you were fully intending to kiss him after his remark. You feel your face go beet red and you immediately hide it in his chest. Jeno was oblivious to the internal battle you had put yourself through, figuring this was just how you wanted to sleep. He gently ran one hand through your hair before wrapping both his arms around your body and humming contently against the top of your head. 

You instantly decide that you couldn’t look back up and face Jeno right now, so you accept the fact that you were going to fall asleep listening to the drumbeat of his heart. What surprises you is the fact that, for as long as you were awake, his heart rate never seemed to calm down; and what you didn’t know is that he looked at you sound asleep in his arms for far too long before he could convince himself that it may be worth missing this moment in front of him to actually get some sleep, too. 

When you eventually wake up, you haven’t moved an inch from where you fell asleep on Jeno’s chest. His breathing was still stable, and a peek up at him confirmed he was still sleeping. A soft smile forms on your face at the sight of him, his hair all messy again from being against the pillow and making him look extra cute rather than hot and bothersome. You move your gaze over to the clock on the nightstand, letting you know that you had been asleep for almost two hours, and you figure the most important thing to do was step out from your bedroom and make sure Jaemin didn’t come back to the hotel and realize Jeno wasn’t in his own room.

So, you snake out of Jeno’s arms, trying your best not to wake him up. His arms fall from around you to on top of his own chest, but it doesn’t seem to disturb him, and you take that as a sign to continue silently sneaking out of your bedroom. You do a quick check around the hotel room, breathing a little easier seeing that none of it seemed touched by your brother recently. However, looking at your phone, you’re greeted with unread messages from Jaemin, asking how long you were going to be out for and if you all could catch the movie night on the shore that the hotel was hosting later on. 

You shoot back a text saying that you just woke up and would go bother Jeno until he was out of bed, too, adding on that the movie night sounded great. Then, you make your way back to your room to actually go bother Jeno until he woke up. 

However, bothering him looked a lot different than how you would typically bother Jaemin. Gently, you let your fingers glide through his hair, his soft hums in response causing you to smile. You move your hand down to instead brush against his cheek, and knowing that he was awake, though he had yet to open his eyes, you start talking softly. “Hey, you ready to get up?” You ask, though it wasn’t much of a question. 

Jeno shakes his head, his eyes still squeezed shut. “Not really. How long has it been?” He asks, his voice low and grainy, and suddenly you’re glad he hasn’t opened his eyes yet to see how red your face has gotten because of it. 

“Almost two hours.” You reply lightly, and Jeno takes an extra long inhale just to let out a deep sigh. “Come on, Jen.” You continue, gently rubbing the back of your hand across his cheek. At the nickname, Jeno finally gives in, peeking one eye open to look at you before his face turns red and he opens both eyes with a small smile. “What?” You question with furrowed brows.

Jeno shakes his head. “Nothing. I just- like you being the first thing I see when I wake up.” He says through his smile, and you just roll your eyes. 

“You’re really bad at being just a best friend.” You tease, and Jeno’s smile turns playful.

“I’d say ‘I’ll work on it,’ but I’m not trying to be just a best friend long enough for it to matter.” He replies, and the blush races to cover your face again, too. 

“You’re actually the worst.” You shoot back, the grin still on your face. 

Jeno smirks at you, but the look in his eyes is fond. “You don’t mean that.” He counters, and you drop your head to face your lap, knowing he wasn’t wrong.

“Whatever.” You say with a laugh as you turn to start exiting your room again. “Please get out of bed before Jaemin gets bored and comes back to the room. He’s already texted me asking how long we’ll be. And I’m serious, going back up to the room to take a nap while I did is the last suspicious thing you can do on this trip.” 

Jeno matches your laugh, putting his hands up in defeat. “Okay, okay, fine. But it’s not my fault you’re the prettiest girl in the world. What am I supposed to do? Not have the biggest crush on you? That’s not an option.” 

You freeze and slowly bring your body back around to face Jeno. The instant your gaze meets his easy smirk, your head is facing the floor and your tongue darts out to lick your lips for a moment as you convince yourself not to give in with every breath. He lets out a heavy exhale that was meant to be laughter as he finally slides out of bed and walks up to where you were, placing the lightest kiss on the top of your head. “That’ll be the last of it.” He says softly, then making his way to freshen up before the two of you meet with Jaemin again. 

To your surprise, Jeno followed instructions well. The rest of the night included zero stolen touches or longing stares. Instead, it reflected any given night from your high school careers, and while you still could hardly stand the ache in your chest that popped up any time you were around Jeno, you wouldn’t have traded it for the world, because the three of you were happy all at the same time again - only slightly aided by the gelato in your hands and the old Disney movie projected on the screen set up by the shore. 

It was sometime after midnight when you all finally got back to the hotel room, and as Jaemin showered, Jeno stood at your bedroom door and begged for you to let him sneak in during the night and sneak back out early the next morning. You stared at him in disinterest, or at least tried to. “I’m not letting you sleep with me while Jaemin is across the hall. I’m sure you can control yourself for one night, Jeno.” You say, figuring starting out with ‘one night’ would be more effective than telling him he’d have to control himself for a huge chunk of the foreseeable future.

Jeno pouted, but when you just raise your eyebrows at him in response, he knows he’s lost, slumping back over to his own room and leaving you to get ready for the night. 

It was a little after breakfast the next morning when you all found yourselves back at the beach. The two boys stayed lounging on the chairs in the sand, claiming they were waiting for the sun to actually come out and heat up the ocean a bit before they would get in. You rolled your eyes at them, entering the water with ease as you spent some time by yourself. 

“Jeno, you’re staring at my sister.” Jaemin’s even voice cuts through the air, bringing Jeno back to reality and making him conscious of the fact that he truly was staring at you. Instead of getting embarrassed, he lets out a small defeated laugh.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to stare at her…just getting used to having her in my life again.” Jeno didn’t care if his statement implied that he would previously stare at you all of the time, too - he was tired of lying anyways. Jaemin just nods slowly, moving his gaze from Jeno and over to you some distance away in the water.

“You know, I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but I know it was your fault.” Jaemin continues, his tone not giving any hint as to his emotions. There was no playful tease hidden in his statement, nor was there even a trace of contempt. For the first time, Jeno thought, Jaemin was unreadable, and he didn’t know how to take it.

“Ouch.” Jeno replies through an exhale meant to double as laughter.

“Am I wrong?” Jaemin asks casually. 

Jeno shoots his gaze somewhere off to the side, his face finally losing the bits of playfulness he tried so hard to keep in the situation. “...no.” He replied in almost a whisper, and Jaemin lets something of a grimace cross his features. 

He takes a moment to gather his thoughts, his gaze constantly shifting between you and Jeno before it falls to face his own lap with a sigh. “Don’t hurt her again.” He finally says monotonously, but the mention of ‘again’ has Jeno whipping his head towards him. Jaemin dodges his gaze, just continues speaking. “That’s always been the one reason to have that stupid rule since we were kids. I don’t have anything against you. You’re my best friend. I trust you probably more than anyone with her.” He says, and it’s then that he lifts his gaze to stare back at a wide-eyed Jeno, making sure he could tell he was serious as he continued. “I just don’t want her getting hurt, and I knew no one would hurt her as much as you if things went wrong.” 

Jeno swallows hard, he couldn’t tell if the weight of the world was currently falling off of his shoulders or crashing onto them. The shock he previously bore on his face almost immediately falls into remorse as he thinks about Jaemin’s words. “I’m sorry for hurting her the first time.” He says firmly, this time Jeno being the one to make sure Jaemin could feel the sincerity of his statement. 

To Jeno’s surprise, Jaemin finally lets out a small laugh to accompany his nod, directing his gaze back to you in the ocean. “I know.” He replies, and a wave of relief washes over Jeno as he’s able to crack a small grateful smile, too. Though, some parts of Jaemin’s words were still poking at the back of Jeno’s mind. 

“How long have you known that I liked her?” He asks weakly, dreading how many more stupid past decisions he had no reason to make as a futile attempt to hide his feelings - how many lies he didn’t need to tell, should Jaemin have already known anyway. 

Jaemin dispels his worry, shaking his head. “Part of me saw it as inevitable, so there was always a gut feeling, but I never knew how you felt towards her with any confidence while we were growing up. It’s just- two best friends don’t stop talking immediately after prom for no reason. I figured feelings finally had to have gotten involved that night.” Jeno nods his head solemnly, opening his mouth to reply but Jaemin cuts him off. “Don’t apologize again.” He says with a laugh as Jeno flicks his gaze back up to him. “I don’t want to hear another apology and I don’t want to know what happened. Just- don’t hurt her again, that’s all I ask.” 

Jeno’s gaping mouth turns into a soft understanding smile, and he looks back out to finally face you again. “I wouldn’t dream of it.” 

Jeno debated telling you about his conversation with Jaemin for the rest of vacation. The second it happened, he wanted to run right to you, tell you that Jaemin wouldn’t mind if the two of you were together, and immediately make you his girl. However, he knew that you really wanted to have your own eventual conversation about it with Jaemin, and when you decide you’re ready to have said conversation and move things along with Jeno was not his own call to make. So, he kept it to himself, but now when he would stare at you as though you were the entire world, it wasn’t Jaemin’s attention he was afraid of catching, it was yours…cause the last thing he was going to do was break his promise to you about suspicious stuff. 

That of course meant that for the rest of vacation, you were clueless as to what had put such a giant, permanent grin on Jeno’s face. His crescent-eyed smile was more present than ever, and for the boy who you came to learn knew no anger, it was starting to seem like he knew nothing but happiness at all - how were you to know that you were the reason why?

 You were expecting the day after you got back from Hawaii to be boring at best, with nothing to do but unpack your luggage…and maybe also your feelings. You dreaded the idea of putting away over a week’s worth of clothes knowing that this closet wasn’t part of some hotel in Ko’Olina, but your own home. 

However, Jaemin quickly saved you from the torture, standing in the doorway and waiting for you to turn your attention to him. The second you realize he’s there, you turn off your music, facing him again with expectant eyebrows…which strangely matched his own. He had a smirk painted across his lips as he leaned against the doorframe and you had a gut-feeling you wouldn’t like where this was going. 

“Are you going to talk to me about Jeno yet?” He asks casually, and your stomach drops as your eyes widen. You quickly return your attention to folding the laundry on your bed. 

“What about Jeno?” You reply with a light laugh, trying to play it cool, but Jaemin just shakes his head, finally moving towards you with more intent. 

“Y/n, I’ve watched you fall in love with him every time he’s walked through our front door since we were five.” He replies, the statement falling from his lips as though he didn’t even have to think about it - cause he wasn’t lying. Your face drops and your hands fall idly at your side rather than messing with your clothes. 

“I’m not in love with him.” You say weakly, but you knew better, too. You could feel the way your face would glow every time you laid eyes on him, and Jaemin knew you even better than you knew yourself. Whatever defense you could build, he’s already seen right through. 

“I wouldn’t be mad if you were, you know?” 

You freeze at his words, sighing deeply before turning to look at your brother. “Jaem, are you trying to get me to tell you things you already know?” You watch as a small grin reaches his face again.

“It would be nice to hear it from you, yeah.” 

You shake your head, quickly losing the courage to look at him. “I don’t understand why you’re not mad. What you’re trying to get me to admit is the exact thing you made rules against.” 

Jaemin rolls his lips inward before shaking his head. “Yeah well, being mad at my sister is not my favorite thing in the world, so I try to avoid it unless absolutely necessary.” He says lightly, but when you still can’t meet his gaze, he sighs, adding on. “This is not one of those times…Besides, what I was trying to prevent in making that rule has already happened despite it, so it doesn’t much matter now.” 

You process Jaemin’s words with pursed lips. “You didn’t want me getting hurt.” You softly claim, though you let it hang as a question for Jaemin to confirm.

“No, I didn’t. Though, since it’s already happened and you seemed to have made it through just fine, I’d rather not care about whether or not you’re hurt as much as whether or not you’re happy.” 

You finally turn to look back at your brother again, his eyebrows raised expectantly. As you make eye contact, he unravels his arms from where they were crossed against his chest to instead hold them out for you to fall into, which you do; stepping into his hug as comfort immediately washes over you. “Jeno makes me really happy.” You say, and admitting that to Jaemin in this context seemed to finally settle the ground beneath your feet, like the entire world was waiting for your confession.

Jaemin laughs a bit, holding you slightly tighter in the hug. “I know. You make him really happy, too.” When Jaemin realizes you don’t intend to respond to that, he lets out a light sigh. “So…you should probably go to him and be all happy together, yeah?” He continues playfully. You whip your head out of his chest to look up at him.

“Are you sure you’re okay if your sister dates your best friend?” You ask seriously, though by now, a huge smile has made its way across your lips. Jaemin scrunches his face, looking back down at you.

“Maybe refrain from saying it like that and yeah, I’ll be okay. Besides, he’s our best friend, not just mine.” At his words, you’re practically jumping to get out of Jaemin’s arms, and he lets you go with a laugh. You scramble for your phone, immediately calling Jeno, who picks up on the first ring. 

“Hello.” His voice cuts through the speaker as you’re already rushing out of your room.

“Go outside!” You command, and you hear Jeno’s laugh on the other end.

“What? Why?” He responds playfully, but you don’t take it.

“Go outside! I’m serious!” You reply.

“Chill, I went outside the second you told me to the first time. What’s this about?” He asks, but you’re too busy running through the downstairs and to the front door, trying not to crash into any furniture. You open the front door and turn to your left towards Jeno’s house two doors down. As soon as he makes eye contact with you, he hangs up the phone, but he doesn’t have time to question the huge smile on your face before you’re already darting towards him, and he seems to finally understand where this is going as he prepares himself to catch you. 

As predicted, your run towards him only ends when you jump into his waiting arms, your legs wrapping around his torso as he spins you around once before resting his forehead against yours. “Kiss me, Jeno.” You breathe out, and Jeno wastes no time. There it was again, the fireworks, and the feeling in your chest that you never wanted this moment to end. 

“About time.” Your mom says, peeking out from the doorframe where Jaemin was standing and watching the two of you. 

Jaemin drops his head with a small laugh. “Yeah, about time.”

[vnti-vnxiety-recs]

i need a mark lee drabble so bad like hes soo attractive 🫡🫡

I highkey owe yall a mark fic so even though this was submitted after closing i'll indulge lol.

Hes a little drabble from a WIP im supposed to be working on lmaoooo. I have no idea when it will be done, but nothings set in stone so if you wanna see certain elements in this fic lmk and ill put em to the side once i get to writing this.

Baby, I'm a rockstar Mark x reader sneak peak

“You only joined to get back at me!” Mark insists, his tone a mix of frustration and accusation.

“Hmm, not quite. I also joined to sleep with Jeno,” you reply, shrugging nonchalantly as you lean against the wall, trying to mask the flutter of nerves in your stomach.

Mark’s band, Limitless, had recently lost its lead singer, Yuta, who had been signed to a major label, effectively sidelining the rest of the group. The sudden vacancy left the members feeling tense and unsure of their future as a band.

Mark posted about the opening along with the audition details, you felt an irresistible pull to be there. It was a chance to reclaim some of the passion you once shared with music—just as much as it was an opportunity to confront Mark again.

Your relationship with him had ended on shaky terms; he had chosen the band over you, pouring himself into rehearsals and gigs, and leaving little room for anything else. You often wondered if he had ever truly cared, or if you had just been a distraction from his ambitions. Now, it was hard to resist throwing barbs his way whenever possible, letting him know exactly how you felt about his choices.

Mark crossed his arms, an eyebrow raised in skepticism. “Right, because you couldn’t possibly be interested in the music.”

You can’t help but smirk. “Oh, please. I live for music. But let’s be real; having a shot at a date with Jeno is a nice bonus, too. Just imagine how awkward that’ll make it for you when you see us together.”

His face twists in annoyance, but you can’t quite tell if he’s more irritated by your boldness or the idea of you moving on without him. You relish in the tension, eager to remind him of everything he lost. After all, he left you for the band, and now you were back, ready to disrupt his world just like he had disrupted yours.

“You're childish! You're wasting my time. I know you don’t really care about this,” Mark snaps, exasperation etched across his face.

“It doesn’t matter what you think,” you retort, arching an eyebrow. A smirk creeps onto your lips as you continue, “Your band members agree. They voted me in, remember?” You watch as he clenches his jaw, trying to reign in his frustration. “And the last time I checked, you needed a singer—and now you’ve got one.”

“You—” Mark starts, but then he stops mid-sentence, clearly grappling with his emotions.

“Huh? What’s that?” you prompt, leaning in slightly, your voice dripping with mock sweetness. “Exactly.”

For a moment, the air crackles with tension. You can see the conflict in his eyes, the part of him that wants to lash out versus the part that knows you’re right. It’s almost satisfying to watch him struggle, to see the realization that his band’s fate now rests in your hands. The smile on your face widens, fueled by the thrill of the challenge and the satisfaction of reclaiming your voice—both in music and in this ongoing rivalry.

“Let me catch you slip up, I’ll give you hell” He spits, shoulder-checking you on his way out of the practice room.

Oh you were going to have so much fun fucking with him.

[multifandomslxt]

WELCOME TO 🥀Slxt's Masterlist ☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

Note: DO NOT STEAL MY WORK. All Works are fiction. Do not take them seriously. Minors DNI.

BEFORE YOU FOLLOW

Boba’s terms for Slxtty Entrance

NEO CULTURE TECHNOLOGY

FICS

Black Roses Mafia Romance (WIP) (Jeno x reader)

Jealousy (bf!Yuta x gf!reader)

Play too much (plug!Taeyong x Chubby!reader)

I hope we'll meet again (Nct member x reader)

Liar (bsfbrother!Yuta x chubbyblack!reader)

Tramp-Stamp (Tattoo artist!Yuta x chubby!reader)

Anything for my good boy (sub!Mark x Femdom!Reader)

King's Command (Hendery x fem!reader)

Fun Games (Haechan x Reader x YangYang)

Quiet Rage (bsf!Johnny x Reader)

SCENARIOS

Nct members who would win in a fight

Nct members who I know would love a thick bixch

Nct members who would spoil tf out of their s/o

Nct members who would mark you in hard-to-hide places

My top five Nct 127 members with a high s3x drive

Nct members I think would be scary when angry..and why

Nct127 members who would love it if you sat on their face

Nct127 members who have pain k!nks

Nct127 members who are sadists

The ass smackers in Nct

Four NCT members who would get turned on at the most inconvenient moments

NCT127 members and their favorite things during s3x

How NCT 127 members tell you they’re horny

Which NCT 127 members are rough during s3x and which ones aren't

Nct 127 members who would be able to handle you throwing it back

Nct127 Members during a heated argument

NCT127 Sugar Daddy Ratings

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

The type to (Series)

Taeyong

Doyoung

Most possessive members of NCT

NCT127 Members who like it RAW

NCT127 Members and places they would f4ck you

NCT127 MEMBERS AND ROUGH S3X

MTL

NCT127 kinkiest members

CALLING YOU MOMMY (ALL UNITS)

REACTIONS

How Jaehyun would be with an inexperienced lover

First time with Yuta

How I think NCT127 would act if somebody was badmouthing their s/o

NCT 127 F*CKABILITY SCALE

NCT DREAM F*CKABILITY SCALE

WAYV KUN HARD THOUGHTS

HARD and SOFT THOUGHTS

1 Doyoung (soft)

2 Yuta (hard)

3 Mark (hard)

4 Jaemin (soft)

5 Yuta (hard)

6 Taeyong (hard)

7 Doyoung (Hard)

SEVENTEEN

SEVENTEEN members who are praisers, beggers or pleasers

Insecurities (Vernon x Chubby!reader)

STRAY KIDS

Insecurities (Bang Chan x chubby!reader)

[neochan]

before i leave this site completely, i want us to have one more year of nct fics & filth. if my happiness for writing returns while doing this, i may keep my presence on here longer.

regardless, below are the fics that i have planned / half written / outlined / thought up. over the course of the next year, i will be posting the ones you vote on.

once you read over the fics, please use the link at the bottom of this post to vote for your favorites.

THE PICK ME CHRONICLES WILL BE FINISHED IN FULL REGARDLESS!

(STANDALONE FICS)

no synopsis, but i can offer: toxic exes au, street racing, using his rival as a means to make him jealous, he is insanely possessive.

okay, so maybe hooking up with a masked stranger wasn't the brightest idea. but you didn't expect him to actually blow your mind. unfortunately, the only clue as to who he is lies in the jacket he left behind. now, with the worn leather that still faintly smelled liked him in tow, you're on the hunt to find your prince charming...but you know what they say: if the jacket fits.

no synopsis, but i can offer: christmas au! flirty hyuck, friends to lovers, comedy(?)

after seven years, haechan still has a crush on you, but you seem to only have eyes for jeno, and haechan isn’t good at controlling his jealousy. (harry potter au)

no synopsis, but i can offer: incubus!jaemin

(SERIES)

according to your parents, it's all for the business. get married to the competitions son so the companies can merge, and business will be fruitful, and you'll be rich. easy, right? wrong. it'd be easier if the person you were marrying was someone you didn't know, but you knew jung jaehyun, in fact, you knew him a little too well, and you didn't particularly like him. though his bestfriend peaked your interest the first time you met... and the second time... and the third. (can change the pairing to dream members)

spend a summer at camp with nct dream as demigods, captured within five different stories

son of hermes!hyuck x daughter of athena!reader

son of ares!jeno x daughter of eros!reader

son of posiedon!renjun x daughter of aphrodite!reader

son of aphrodite!jaemin x daughter of hermes!reader

son of apollo!mark x daughter of hades!reader

THIS IS MY FAVORITE WIP!! after the tragic death of punk rock band PARASOCIALs leader, lee minhyung, the label is desperate to piece the teenage dream back together again. in an attempt to revive their chart breaking success, they've reached out to you - a rising star already signed to their sister label. but what happens when you realize they're nothing like the press paints them to be? has the band slipped too far out of the limelight for you to save them? GENRE ▸ angst, smut, rockstar!nct dream, band au, vocalist!renjun, guitarist!jeno, drummer!jaemin, vocalist & bassist!haechan

my one shot 'rule breaker' is a prequel to this series.

no synopsis, but i can offer: dysfunctional family vibes.

illegal street fighter jeno

graffiti artist renjun

street racer & addict haechan

thief mark

drug dealer jaemin

!!!!! VOTE HERE !!!!!

[stayarmytinyzenmoa-l]

Came back to this anyway

~

When what had to be the third rock flew into your room through your window, you had to take action. Action being frantically texting your older brother, Johnny, to take a look for you. But when you heard the short tune of Until I Found You, you were quick to hop up on your feet and run over to the window, spotting Jeno on your driveway with a bouquet in hand and a boombox on his shoulder.

"(Y/N)!"

"Jeno?!" You looked at your alarm clock. "It's two in the morning!"

"I think I love you!"

"What?" You couldn't hear him.

"What?" He couldn't hear you. But you did hear the window next to you slide open.

"Who the fuck are you and how do you know where we live?!" Johnny threw a football out the window and Jeno just narrowly dodged it.

Brb cuz I’m studying rn but uhhhhhh Jeno showing up to your house standing outside your window with a boom box on his shoulder playing idk “Until I Found You” I guess with chocolates and a rose while professing his love and you think this is so sweet until Older Brother!Johnny, who’s in the room next to you, sticks his head out and asks who the hell Jeno is and why does he know where they live

[heartseungs-archive]

love.fm | h.rj

genre ❥ fluff, angst, coworkers to lovers  pairings ❥ radio show host!renjun x fem!reader  word count ❥ 7.2k   warnings ❥ none author’s note ❥ had this sitting in my wip for a while after rewatching renra on akdong seoul....just thought it would be a really cute idea!!

My love's so young, I'm young, at a sweet age I can't only look at you

As the ‘ON AIR’ sign flickers to life, you pick up the familiar pair of headphones at your seat, colourful stickers decorating the headband to separate it from the rest. The other guys at the station don’t particularly mind sharing headphones, but you find having a personalized one more enjoyable.

Seulgi, your program director, stands behind the glass wall, flashing a thumbs up from where she’s comfortably nestled in her chair. Jeno is just beside her, but he’s much more focused on the music controls, ensuring that it’s broadcasting smoothly. There’s a teleprompter in front of you, but you know you won’t need it. You’ll probably go off script anyways.

Which is why your partner flashes a warning glance at you, and you simply grin. He’s the one who keeps track of time and attempts to stick to Seulgi’s meticulously planned program sheets, reigning you in when you go off tangents.

Huang Renjun has been your partner host for the past year, and the both of you make a good team. A wonderful team, actually, if the listener numbers are anything to go off by. You know it’s partially luck that the both of you got an interesting show to helm, but surely part of it is due to your efforts as well.

Renjun’s dressed in a comfortable black hoodie today, already wearing his reading glasses as he looks over the script. You had teased him for his poor eyesight until he finally caved and bought the white frames that now rest comfortably on his nose.

A cue from Seulgi jolts you out of your thoughts, and you quickly take a sip of water before turning on the microphone. Renjun flashes an encouraging smile at you, even though it’s practically routine at this point.

“Welcome to The Love Club, where we provide a solution towards each and every dilemma you have about romance. It’s your favourite DJ, Y/N, along with Ren-D. I hope your Friday is going good, dear listener, so grab a cup of tea and let us accompany you until midnight!” The words flow out of your mouth smoothly, from weeks upon weeks of practice. Even then, the rush of excitement that fills you each time you speak into the microphone still remains as new as the first day you stepped into the studio.

“Thank you to everyone who sent in their stories! Today, we’ll be discussing the topic of first loves. Our first story is from user jiyeonluv.”

Dear Ren-D and Y/N-D,

I’m Jiyeon, a high-school student. I have a crush on someone in my school, and I really, really like them. But we’re graduating already, and I think we’ll be going to different universities. Should I pursue him?

You hum gently, thinking over your reply. The letter causes a fond smile to make its way onto your face, just from how adorable it is. “I think you should go for it. After all, if both of you really like each other, it’s possible. Besides, it’s better to try and be rejected, rather than not and worry about the what ifs.”

Renjun nods. “Besides, I heard long-distance relationships are the trend now,” he adds.

“I’m not sure where Renjun gets his trends from, considering he barely uses the internet,” you contradict, and Renjun scoffs slightly. “However, I hope everything goes well for you, user jiyeonluv! On that note, the first song of today that we’ll be playing is Young Luv by STAYC.”

“Good job today,” you say, and Renjun quickly returns your tired grin. He pushes open the glass door, you following behind him. Your tote bag lies on the shelf outside the office along with your sneakers, and you quickly put your shoes on, smartphone in hand.

Seulgi and Jeno wave goodbye to you as you leave, both of them already preparing for the next programme. Their schedules run a bit differently from yours and Renjun’s, considering they manage the night programmes until two in the morning. You wouldn’t be surprised if the both of them were almost nocturnal at this point.

The hallway is dim at this time of night, the broadcasting station void of much activity except for the room you just exited. However, there are still footsteps here and there, likely from interns or security patrolling the building.

It’s a short walk from your studio to the carpark, but you’re already shivering by the time you exit the building. It’s coming to fall, and the leaves are already transitioning to shades of autumnal red and yellow.

It’s quickly halted by the feeling of a jacket over your shoulders, however, and you quickly look up at Renjun, a silent protest in your eyes. “Don’t worry. I’ve got a hoodie on. You, on the other hand, should really start remembering to bring your own jacket.”

“I don’t need to, when you lend me one anyways,” you reply, and he huffs a laugh, rolling his eyes.

However, you’re quick to move your hands towards the heating vents of Renjun’s car once you’re inside, sinking into the plush leather seats comfortably.

“You don’t need to send me back, you know. The public buses are still running,” you mutter, your breath fogging up the window. You draw a smiley face on it absentmindedly, watching as the cityscape flies by.

“It’s not that safe. Besides, you’re on the way anyways.” Renjun’s lying, because you know where he lives, and it is most definitely not on the way. In fact, it’s likely added an extra fifteen minutes to his journey home, but you’re not going to protest with him further, especially when the rides are in your benefit.

Even though the both of you are able to continue an entertaining banter throughout the entirety of the radio program, you and Renjun seem to lapse more into silence once alone, likely due to fatigue as well. You suppose it’s also due to the fact that there’s not much need for words to be exchanged for you to feel comfortable in Renjun’s presence, him focused on the road and you with…well, nothing exactly. The drive is always a good time for you to clear your mind, considering Renjun’s careful enough and you completely trust him to get you back home safe.

“See you tomorrow,” he says once the both of you are in front of your apartment building and you wave to him before stepping out onto the pavement, watching as his car gradually disappears down the winding path.

When you reach home, you’re quick to fall into bed, already exhausted. You’ll shower tomorrow, you think, but for now, what you need is a good night’s sleep.

“Well, someone looks cranky.”

“Shut up, Haechan.”

“Even I don’t mess with Jaemin, Haechan. You should be careful,” Mark says, and Jaemin just nods. Haechan sighs dramatically, sinking back into the chair, and his antics are the first thing you see when you step into the office.

“Well, I hope no one’s cranky after what I bought,” you announce, paper bags with recognizable green logos in your hands. Jaemin immediately perks up, looking at you gratefully.

“You’re so much better than Haechan,” he says, a sound of indignance coming from the other boy at his statement.

“Eight shots for you- I don’t know how you actually drink that, by the way, an iced tea for Mark and a latte for Hyuck.” The boys mutter soft thank yous as they take the cups from you, leaving two inside. Your caramel macchiato, and someone else’s-

“Speak of the devil.” Renjun is quick to grab his drink from your outstretched hand, raising a brow at you. It takes a while for you to realise you said it out loud, and your cheeks turn red, quickly shaking your head. “I was just wondering where you were, and you walked in right after,” you explain, and he nods, stealing a sip of your drink before he goes to his seat. You’re used to it at this point, even if Renjun has already gotten his own cold brew. You had been the one to persuade the boy into trying your macchiato a few months ago, to no little amount of effort. After a while, he had caved, but Renjun would never admit that he liked your drink more than his own.

“Today’s meeting is quite important, which is why I asked you guys to meet early.”

“At nine in the morning, no less,” Jaemin mumbles, and there’s barely audible laughter from the other two boys in the room. You had been wondering why Mark had texted the groupchat asking all of you to come down to the office early.

This morning, you had stumbled out of bed groggily when your alarm awoke you, running to the bathroom when you realised you might be late. The coffee had simultaneously been an apology and a distraction, but it ended up not mattering as much, since Renjun had arrived later than you.

“We need to discuss our plans for the second half of the year. If you guys want to revamp your programmes, change something about it, or anything.”

Haechan raises his hand quickly. “I think 37.5MHz should be extended to four hours.”

“No one wants to hear you talk for four hours, Haechan,” Renjun replies, and Haechan looks at him incredulously.

“Just because you can’t appreciate the masterpiece that is my voice, doesn’t mean others won’t-”

“Let’s stay focused, guys,” Mark reminds, but even he’s struggling slightly to maintain a serious expression on his face. The five of you are already familiar with each other at this point, being the ones to host the weekday special programs.

Mark’s in charge of the broadcast from ten in the morning to noon, his programme aptly titled Mark’s Music Space. You had come up with it at a meeting once, and he ended up liking it a lot more than you expected.

At two, Jaemin’s the one in the studio, a cup of coffee always by his side. Which is accurate, you suppose, since his entire programme is cafe-themed. He’s the one in charge of curating most of the playlists for the station, considering how well-versed the boy is in picking songs based on the mood.

Haechan takes over at five with 37.5Mhz, brightening the natural lull of the afternoons with his cheery personality. The boy runs it almost like a podcast at this point, often spending more time chatting than playing music. Still, if his ratings are anything to go by, you suppose there is an audience that he appeals to.

And then at nine, it’s you and Renjun’s turn, with Love.fm. The most interesting program, in your opinion, but you’ll never tell the other guys that, because they’ll definitely begin arguing with you incessantly. Still, you’re proud of how much work you and Renjun have put in, taking hours to plan out your themes and filtering through the listeners’ letters personally.

“Y/N, Renjun. Anything you guys want to change?” You look up at Mark, shaking your head. “I’m happy with the program.” “Me too,” Renjun replies, and you grin at him.

Jaemin lets out a slight chuckle, Haechan right after him, and you cast a pointed glance at the two. “What?” Jaemin quickly shakes his head, expression becoming blank once again. “Nothing.”

You look at Mark’s hesitant expression, and decide to just bite the bullet. “Mark, what is it?” The boy’s expression is stricken as he meets your gaze, and he coughs slightly before continuing. “Oh..um…I was gonna ask if you and Renjun wanted to make Love.fm a viewable broadcast.”

”Why don’t I get a viewable broadcast?”

“Because you post everything on your Instagram already. If I was your fan, I wouldn’t want to see your face anymore,” Jaemin responds, and Haechan huffs petulantly.

“Like….a live stream?” Renjun asks hesitantly, and Mark nods. “Yeah. Your program is already so popular, and I think a lot of the listeners are quite curious about what you guys look like. It would be a good idea for publicity. Of course, you don’t have to do a viewable one every day, it could be once a week, or something,” he explains, and you consider the idea briefly. It isn’t a bad one. You’re not someone who’s particularly afraid of the camera, and neither is Renjun. The idea’s almost exciting, the fact that you and Renjun are something like mini-celebrities because of your programme.

“I’m down if Renjun is,” you say, smiling, and Mark looks relieved, turning to your partner. “Sure,” Renjun says, and Mark claps his hands together. “Great! We can do the first one on Monday? For everyone else, Seulgi’s also discussing with the publicity team about getting us to film additional content, so I’ll keep you guys updated on that.”

You realise now that this is likely Seulgi’s idea, and it makes sense, really. When you had first started the job, you hadn’t expected the listeners to show so much support for their show hosts. Jaemin, Haechan and Mark have something of their own following as well. The five of you have potential as media personalities, and it's obvious that Seulgi’s making good use of it.

“Want to get breakfast?” Renjun asks, leaning over to your seat. “Yes please, I’m starving.” You grab your things and follow him out, waving goodbye to the others in the room.

As you pass by the recording studio, you hear faint voices filtering out of the room.

“Welcome to Chenji’s this….”

“And that!” You immediately recognize Jisung’s baritone and see the two younger boys inside, already rehearsing for their show. “They’ve improved a lot,” you comment, a fond smile on your face as you watch the two.

“I remember when they first joined. Jisung couldn’t even say one sentence without stuttering,” Renjun adds, and you let out a soft giggle. “Well, it’s thanks to you that he’s so good now. Don’t act like you didn’t stay up practising with him.” Renjun’s cheeks redden at your comment, but you know it’s true. Despite his colder exterior, Renjun is caring to the ones closest to him, and has a soft spot for the nervous youngest. It’s something you’ve noticed about him after spending so much time together, his quiet acts of service.

“What are you thinking about?” Renjun asks as the both of you step out into the bright morning sunlight. He looks nice today, brown corduroy jacket over a white shirt and jeans.

“I like your outfit today,” you comment, not catching the way Renjun’s breath hitches, his pulse speeding up just barely.

“Are you just saying this because you want the jacket?”

“No promises.”

When I see you happy Naturally, I'm laughing along I get excited by your actions and toss and turn

Technically, you shouldn’t even be nervous. But you can’t shake the tension that grips you, despite the two cups of hot chamomile that you’ve already consumed. It’s okay, you tell yourself. Today is like any other broadcast, Y/N.

“We just hit fifty thousand listeners,” Seulgi announces, and you sigh shakily, hearing Mark let out a low whistle at the news. You take it back. Today isn’t like any other broadcast. That’s close to double your usual number. Your train of thoughts- more like a nervous trainwreck at this point, really- is brought to a halt by the feeling of a warm hand on yours.

“You okay?” Renjun asks, his gaze warm, and you feel your heartrate slow down slightly. It’s not that you don’t want this- you’re quite excited, to be honest, but there’s also a little fear at the viewers’ reactions.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” he continues, out of earshot of the people outside. However, you’re quick to pull yourself out of it, shaking your head at Renjun. His concerned gaze doesn’t leave your figure, but you smile at him reassuringly.

“I’m fine. Ready as ever. Seulgi, shall we start?” You ask, and she nods, turning on the cameras. There’s a screen in front of you that shows the comments, but you decide not to look, instead focusing on your script and the camera.

“Hello, everyone! Today is a very special day. As you can see, Ren-D and I are meeting everyone for the first time via live stream.” Renjun waves shyly at that, and you automatically grin, nervousness easing slightly as you fall back into the routine of hosting.

“I feel like someone doing a face reveal,” Renjun points out, and you laugh slightly. “Yeah, me too. Honestly, I was so nervous.”

You’re feeling much better now, and it feels like any other evening in the broadcasting studio, Renjun next to you, script in hand.

“Let me read out our first letter today, from user tyongya.”

Dear Y/N-D and Ren-D,

You have no idea how excited I was for the broadcast today! I wrote this letter because I’ve been in a relationship with someone for two years, but we haven’t told each other we love each other yet. What is love to the both of you?

Thank you for this program, and I’m cheering both of you on!

“Oh…” you trail off as you think over your reply, head tilted. “Wow, that’s a big question,” Renjun comments, and you nod.

“I think love is wanting to see the other person happy, no matter what. Like, seeing them smile makes you smile too. That’s the simplest way I can put it,” you finally state, and Renjun makes a sound of agreement.

“Y/N said it well. If I love someone, I think I would place their happiness above my own. Personally, I would say that loving someone means that being with them makes you want to be a better person, both for them and for yourself.” Renjun’s looking at you as he says it, and his voice takes on a noticeably softer tone. You’re suddenly unable to look at him for some reason, gaze darting downwards to your script nervously.

Once you regain your composure, you continue, even though the back of your neck still feels warm for some reason.

“Yes, don’t forget that self-love is important too, guys,” you say, and Renjun chuckles, causing you to inevitably let out a laugh of your own as well. He’s smiling brightly, and you’re not sure whether it’s because of the excitement of doing a live video broadcast, but you can’t hold back the wide grin that appears resolutely on your features as well.

“Now, our next song is Love, Maybe by Melomance. User tyongya, this is for you. We hope you find love soon!”

“I knew you would recommend Love, Maybe,” Renjun says, a teasing smirk on his face. “It’s a good song!” you defend, and he doesn’t reply, causing you to jab him softly with your elbow.

“Say it’s a good song, or I won’t stop playing it in the car,” you threaten, leaning towards him until your faces are close. Renjun leans back playfully, away from you, and you only lean closer, eyes questioning.

Until your headphone wire gets caught, causing you to stumble forward into his chair. Renjun’s quick to catch you, and you turn to look at him, only realising your faces are a hair’s breadth away from each other when it’s too late.

You’re quite sure you’ve stopped breathing as you look into Renjun’s wide eyes. It seems like forever before he quickly regains his senses and puts some distance between the both of you, standing up from his chair and letting out a nervous cough.

You’re still in a daze, cheeks already reddening with their familiar flush.

”Guys, good job on the broadcast today- are you two alright?” Seulgi glances confusedly at the both of you as she steps in, and Renjun is the first to respond.

“Yeah…we’re fine. What did you say?” He asks, and Seulgi looks rather doubtful, even as she grins at the both of you.

“We broke our viewer record today. And you guys should see the comments,” she adds, handing the both of you her laptop. You scroll absentmindedly, taking a while to focus. There are thousands of them, coming in at a mile a minute even though the broadcast’s over.

Wow….the both of them look exactly how they sound. And I love their voices, so that speaks for itself.

Y/N looks like she could be a celebrity! And Renjun too.

It’s hard to conceal your happy smile at the positive comments, even if it’s shallow to care about your appearance. Renjun catches your eyes, and the previous tension seems to be dispelled. You continue scrolling down, not entirely ready for the next barrage of comments.

The more I think about it, Renjun and Y/N look so good together.

These two are so compatible…I wonder if they’re dating?

Wouldn’t it be so cute if they were a couple? They even run Love.fm together…it’s like something out of a fiction book.

You cough abruptly, cheeks flushing as Seulgi looks at you, concerned. Renjun seems to have noticed them too, handing the laptop back and averting his gaze from where you’re standing. You hear the door open, and realise the midnight news broadcast must be starting soon.

“Right, you guys must be tired. Go home and rest,” she nags, almost pushing the both of you out of the recording studio. You don’t even bother to resist her, thoughts hung up on the comments from the listeners.

There’s an awkward silence that hangs over you and Renjun as the both of you leave the company building, and you fiddle with your fingers, unsure of what to say. It continues even as you enter the car, and Renjun seems to feel it too, for he immediately plays music the moment the both of you get in.

You lean your head against the headrest, occasionally taking quick glances at Renjun when you think he isn’t looking. It makes you feel nervous somehow, as if you’re doing something you shouldn’t.

His profile is soft under the streetlights, silver hair shining brightly even in the darkness. You remember when he had first walked in with it, and you stared at him open-mouthed in shock. It was such a stark contrast from his previous raven black hair, and yet seemed to make his features glow even brighter. The thought makes your heart flutter against your own will. You’re bewildered at the strange feeling, and yet can’t seem to tear your eyes away from the boy.

“You’re staring. Is something wrong?” Renjun’s direct question causes you to sit up immediately, heart rate stumbling. “Nope, nothing,” you stutter out, stubbornly turning your gaze out the car window, just in time for you to miss the amused smile on Renjun’s face.

“Y/N, wait.” Your hand is on the car handle when Renjun halts you outside your apartment building. You turn back to look at him, tote bag already in your grasp. “What is it?” The silver-haired boy falls silent at that, seeming to hesitate over something. You’re patient, however, leaning back into the seat just as you recognise the next song that has started playing through his car speakers.

I'm gettin' really tired of this back and forth Why don't we just give in to this driving force? I mean, there's somethin' between us

The lyrics make your brain short-circuit, and you can’t help but interpret them in the context of the situation, filling your heart with a heady sort of hope as you look at Renjun. It feels like you’re wading into unfamiliar waters, but something tells you to keep going.

“You did well today.”

“Huh?” You’re brought back down to reality, Renjun’s words grounding you.

”You were nervous, but you got through it. I’m proud of you. That’s what I wanted to say, I guess,” he mumbles, and the words are sweet, warming your heart.

“That wasn’t what I was expecting,” you say reflexively, and he turns to you. “Were you expecting something else?” His gaze is strangely searching as he turns to you, almost as if he’s silently beseeching you to say something else as well. However, you’re seized by nerves, and quickly shake your head.

“No, nothing. Thank you, Renjun. You did well today too. I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

Even then, you feel a sense of disappointment, but you can’t possibly blame him for your own overactive imagination. It must be the comments getting to your head, you think, as you step out of the car and Renjun waves to you.

Still, you can’t shake the thought of Renjun being more to you, of the both of you being more than just colleagues and friends. It’s never been something that’s come to mind, and yet made glaringly obvious by the events of today. The way you are starting to find it harder to let your eyes stray from his features, the drives home with him becoming the most treasured moments of your day.

The answer’s simple, really. Stupidly simple that you should have figured it out a long time ago, considering the fact that the both of you run a romance advisory programme. You have feelings for Renjun. Not-so-platonic feelings, if the speeding up of your heartbeat in the past few days are any indication.

You only remember the second half of the lyrics when you’re on your sofa, the lyrics of the song that was playing in Renjun’s car.

If I'm on your mind You know that you're on my mind I don't want to fall in love alone

“I don’t want to fall in love alone either,” you say to no one in particular, the only accompaniment being the four walls of your studio apartment. You’re at a loss on what to do with Renjun, haunted by both the endless possibilities and the fear of rejection.

Love is hard when it comes to Renjun, and you’re not sure if all your experience with hosting will have any use.

It’s two days before Renjun sees you in the studio again. On Tuesday, he had been waiting for you outside, before Seulgi had fired a quick text saying you had called in sick.

When you were absent from your seat beside him on Wednesday, there had been a foreign feeling of emptiness in the studio, compounded by the fact that you had yet to reply Renjun’s messages. Even then, he tries to make the program as engaging as possible, assuming that you’re home resting.

It’s not the same, no matter how hard he tries. It’s not the same without you.

By the time you step into the recording booth, Renjun’s positively overcome with worry, ready to jump out of his seat and hug you at the sight of you well and alive. However, he’s not sure if it will overwhelm you. He decides to force himself to stay where he is, fiddling anxiously with his fingers as his eyes follow you around the room. You smile pensively at him when you catch his gaze. In truth, you hadn’t been sick. You were just scared of seeing Renjun, especially immediately after being confronted with the weight of your new feelings.

The introduction passes as usual, and you put in extra effort to make your voice bright and cheery after your absence, knowing that the listeners must have missed you. Even then, Renjun can detect a note of artificiality in your voice, almost as if you’re deliberately trying to present yourself that way. Maybe you’re still feeling sick, he thinks, and feels a pang of guilt for hounding you with his messages. However, he already has medicine in his bag, and a heat pack for you later, just to make sure you recover as quickly as possible.

You’re less talkative than usual today, giving short replies outside of the programme itself. Renjun tries not to let it unnerve him, but he’s not sure how to reach out to you.

“Renjun, can you read the next letter, please?” You ask cheerfully, the way your emotions switch up from lethargic to energetic becoming rather disarming to him. “Oh yes, of course,” he says, panicking slightly as he fumbles with his script, lost in thought.

Dear Ren-D and Y/N-D,

Hello! I’m not sure if you can call me a regular listener, but I’m very familiar with this program. I wrote this letter because of a very big dilemma I have. I think I have feelings for a good friend of mine, who also happens to be a colleague. But confessing might make our relationship awkward, and I don’t want to ruin it for us. At the same time, my feelings are so strong that I don’t know what to do with them.

“This is from user caramelmacchiato,” Renjun adds at the end, and you’re awfully silent as he looks at you, waiting to see if you’ll reply first. When you don’t speak after a while, he decides to go first.

“I think you should go for it,” he encourages, and the only thing he hears from you is a sharp inhale, causing Renjun to furrow his brows in concern.

“Often, we don’t have control over what we feel, or the people we like. I think it’s better to confess first. If he’s really someone you like that much, I’m sure he’s a good person who will understand your emotions, and the friendship won’t break apart that easily,” he continues, and you’re staring at Renjun now, a stricken expression on your face.

“And…for all you know, user caramelmacchiato, your friend just might like you back too.” Renjun’s mouth tilts up in a grin as he says it, his heart fluttering strangely for some reason. It definitely doesn’t help that your gaze is riveted on him, and Renjun runs a hand through his hair self-consciously. You’ve always made him nervous, even if you’ve known him for more than a year.

He quickly remembers that the both of you are on live broadcast, however, Seulgi and Jeno still watching. “Y/N?” he asks, and you shake your head as if clearing your mind from a fog.

“Oh, yes. Good luck, um…user caramelmacchiato.” Your voice is slightly high-pitched and squeaky, and it’s obvious you’re nervous, though Renjun can’t think of a reason why.

“As the night comes to a close, we have one last song for you. This is Fall in Love Alone by Stacey Ryan. Goodnight everyone!” You successfully bring the programme to a finale, and Jeno ends the broadcast.

Renjun’s quick to grab his things and make his way over to you, but you’re two steps ahead of him, almost jumping out of your chair once the microphone is off. He stares at you from where he is, and sees the same confused expression on Seulgi’s face. It’s unlike you to simply just up and leave, especially when Renjun is the one sending you home. And he doubts you have plans after midnight.

When he enters the hallway, there’s no sign of you, and Renjun worries his lip in frustration. He’s not stupid. There must be something wrong, somewhere. He thinks back to each of his interactions with you over the past week, picking each of them apart moment by moment in his brain.

The both of you had called to discuss the live broadcast four days ago, and ended up watching a movie together. And then it was the broadcast itself, where he sent you home afterwards. Where he had been so close to saying something that was on the tip of his tongue, but didn’t.

The next two days, you had disappeared without contact while you were sick.

There had to be something he was missing.

Maybe Saturday? But nothing happened other than the morning meeting. When the both of you had gotten breakfast after you bought him a matcha latte and got yourself a…

“Oh God,” he mutters to himself, the puzzle pieces falling into place. It’s not an entirely plausible idea, and Renjun’s pretty sure he’s making connections based on pure gut feeling. Still, it’s too much of a coincidence. Or maybe it isn’t. The way you’re acting, the song that you chose today to finish the broadcast, they fill Renjun’s heart with just the tiniest bit of hope.

He really has to find you now.

Renjun’s grateful he wore his better pair of sneakers today as he rushes out of the building, eyes scanning the place for your familiar figure.

It’s almost a solid five minutes of his heartbeat thundering in his ears until he spots you, walking in the direction of the intersection, and then he’s running.

Renjun reaches you right as the light turns green, grabbing your hand and causing you to spin around in shock. You’ve got your headphones on, and the sudden disturbance leaves your eyes wide in shock. You don’t even resist as Renjun drags you to a bench, motioning for you to sit next to him.

You guessed he would ask about your odd behaviour eventually. You just didn’t expect it to be so soon. The area is deserted except for the both of you, and Renjun’s still slightly out of breath as he sits next to you.

You don’t dare to look at him. It’s a cloudless day today, and you can see clearly even though there’s barely any lighting, thanks to the moon.

“Well, I’m sure you have something to say-” you start, but you’re quickly cut off by Renjun.

“User caramelmacchiato. That’s you, isn’t it?” His question causes your heart to stutter to a stop, and you’re hoping you heard him wrong. Still, the resounding silence tells you that you heard him exactly.

Honestly, you should probably have picked a better username. You’re kicking yourself for it now, realising you overlooked Renjun’s natural knack for observation. Your silence makes it obvious that he’s right, and the boy next to you lets out a soft sigh, causing your heart to fall slightly.

Your posture is tense, already prepared for the sting of inevitable rejection. “It’s okay if you don’t like me, Renjun, really, I’ll be fine-” you’re cut off by his palm over your mouth, and you stare at him incredulously. Renjun, for his part, looks frustrated, forehead scrunched as he turns to face you.

“Will you let me speak for one second?” He says exasperatedly, and you nod.

“I was right about the friend. He likes you back too,” Renjun mutters, and you stare at him for a few seconds too long before the words sink in. You push his hand away roughly, your lips falling open into an expression of shock.

“What?” Renjun shrugs at the disbelief on your face. “Is it that hard to believe?”

“No, it’s just that the both of us-” You’re quickly silenced again, but this time, instead of his hand, Renjun’s lips are on yours. He’s kissing you, and you’re frozen, eyes wide.

Renjun fills with alarm when you’re unresponsive, and he’s wondering if he’s made a terrible, terrible mistake. He’s just about to pull away, when there’s a tug on his hoodie. You’re kissing him back, and he can hear nothing but his heartbeat.

Renju’s not one for physical affection, but he thinks he might be dreaming. You’re definitely topping the list of people he doesn’t mind being touchy with, and he might just seek it out himself.

It seems like too soon when you finally pull away, but Renjun doesn’t mind. After all, he’s hoping that the both of you have plenty of time, to do….whatever this is. There’s still a tiny part of him, however, that fears the thought of you realising this was a mistake and running away.

That fear quickly disappears when you break out into the most radiant smile Renjun has ever seen, causing him to let out an exhale of relief, and you burst out in giggles at his expression. “What?”

“Nothing. I’m just happy,” you confess, and Renjun’s heart feels so full, so light, as you lean against him.

“I think I liked you the first day you walked into our office. I was just too much of a coward to consider even dating a colleague,” you continue, and Renjun lets a fond smile make its way onto his face.

“If you’re a coward, then I’m an idiot for not realising sooner. Will you let me send you home now?” At your soft nod, Renjun extends a hand out to you, relishing the feeling of your smaller palm in his.

It may have taken a year of waiting, confusion, and a whole lot of running, but Renjun finally has you, and he’s never going to let you go, not if you’ll have him.

“Ren-D, some of our readers are asking about your first love. Do you have any fun stories to share?”

There’s a teasing lilt to your voice, and the only thing preventing Renjun from rolling his eyes is the fact that the camera is currently panned to him.

“No fun stories, unfortunately, but I do have a reader’s letter to share.”

“Oh?”

Renjun clears his throat, feeling strangely nervous.

Dear Y/N-D and Ren-D,

Yesterday, I finally found the courage to chase after someone that I liked, and looking back, I think they might be my first love. I didn’t realise it until they confessed to me first, but I found myself missing their presence unconsciously when they were gone. I think many of us don’t realize how precious someone is until they’re no longer there. Hence, to all the fellow listeners here, I hope that you’ll live without regrets, and bravely chase your first love no matter what!

“Oh,” you exhale softly, eyes wide. The letter was strangely sentimental, heavy for a program such as yours. You can see the comments flowing in, and you’re sure many of them feel the same as you now.

“This person is really good with words,” you comment, and Renjun huffs a laugh, almost like he’s hiding a secret.

“This is from user matchalatte,” he says, and you nod absentmindedly in response, before you freeze, head whipping to look at him. The corners of his mouth are tilted up in a smirk, and you’re staring at him, before realising that the cameras are now panned to the both of you.

There’s heat rushing to your cheeks now, realising that you know who exactly user matchalatte is. Of course it’s him. Only Renjun would think of returning the gesture, just to see your reaction on broadcast.

“Um.” You’re not yet able to formulate words to respond, even though you know that Seulgi and Jeno are likely in the other room watching you both, along with tens of thousands of listeners. Renjun lets out a soft laugh at your starstruck expression, and it causes your heart to skip a beat at his happy expression.

“The next song we have for everyone is Je T’aime by Joy. We’ll be back after the break!” Renjun smoothly takes over your line while you’re still distracted, and embarrassingly enough, it makes you melt even more.

The gentle notes of the starting piano play are audible throughout the studio, and you jolt with familiarity, eyes meeting Renjun’s. You had added this to his playlist while the both of you were drafting the program schedule, and even though he had been ambivalent to the song at first, you found the album sitting on your desk a week later.

Honestly, you should have realised it sooner. That he was the one you wanted to have morning coffee runs and midnight drives with. The person whose playlists you would listen to and whose favourite songs you would save.

Je t’aime. It’s an expression of love, but you don’t think all the languages in the world are enough to describe the way you feel with Renjun. He makes you feel like you’re floating, but at the same time the one who’s grounding you, a tethering force that makes you feel safe.

There’s a consistency to the way Renjun cares for you, the way he makes a space for himself so easily in your life that he feels like home. Having his love has already become a force of habit, one that you never want to break.

The beeping of the timer reminds you that the advertisement break is up, and you’ve managed to regain some semblance of composure externally, even though there’s still a light pink dusting your cheeks.

“Welcome back to Love.fm with Ren-D and Y/N! Today’s a chilly Friday evening, so let us accompany you into the weekend. Send in any romantic worries you have, and we’ll answer each and every one of them,” you start, and narrowly avoid stuttering when a hand encapsulates yours under the desk. You flash a warning glance at Renjun despite your previous nervousness, but the boy simply has a smug grin on his face.

Still, despite his teasing, you’ll gladly give anything to live in these moments forever, him next to you with his headphones on and script in hand.

Stay by my side like a delicate scent I guess I love you, I'm in love I hope this pleasant feeling will never change

[viasdreams]

via's future dreams 𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖

aka my wips :3

most of these come from requests and are in no particular order!! ill do my best to get to them all!! if you don't see your request here, i either haven't updated it or im not planning on doing it (which wont happen very often cuz im a woman of the people but sometimes yall be requesting crazy thing ngl)

☁︎ - ongoing

⟡ - still debating if ill actually write it or i currently have no ideas

nct dream𓈒∘☁︎

nightwalker (haechan smau) ☁︎

comforting insecure 7dream

more nohyuck texts

childhood friends to lovers with jeno

jaemin comfort texts

haechan husband texts

getting into a relationship with jaemark

lack of communication with renjun pt. 2

grumpy mark x sunshine reader

titkok challenge with chenle

nct 127𓈒∘☁︎

jungwoo starting your addiction

johnny no nut november

wayv𓈒∘☁︎

nct wish𓈒∘☁︎

stray kids𓈒∘☁︎

minsung angst

more seungmin bf texts

chasung

txt𓈒∘☁︎

xdinary heroes𓈒∘☁︎

gaon bf texts

slowly falling in love with gaon

shared hamster custody with gunil

fake text m.list ☁︎⋅

[jaeyunverse]

THANK U SO MUCH FOR 3K NOTES!!!! this is INSANE i never expected any of my fics to hit such a milestone 🥹 thank u thank u thank u for all ur support <333 i appreciate it more than i can express 🥰💟 jenozens ftw!!!!

the perks of having a hot best friend

PAIRING(S) | lee jeno x fem!reader

GENRE(S) | fluff, crack, mild angst, best friends to lovers, college au

WORD COUNT | 14336

WARNING(S) | profanity, sexual jokes, jeno is shirtless in a scene phew, too many idol features SORRY i lowk lost track of who i’ve included. i think that is all but lmk if you find something else!

SUMMARY | having a hot best friend is nice until you start getting butterflies in your stomach every single time you look at them.

AUTHOR’S NOTE | JAEYUNVERSE COMEBACK WOOO i’ve missed writing long fics so much omfg but i’m shitting bricks as we speak LOL it’s been a while since i’ve posted something big and i won’t lie i’m hella nervous. i rlly hope you guys enjoy this fic ♡ please don’t hesitate to give me your feedback! here’s to hoping my writing skills haven’t become as rusty as i think i have hehe :’))

masterlist

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐊𝐒 !

01. an abundance of freebies and discounts

Lee Jeno knew the power his smile held. 

All it took was one flirty laugh combined with those sleepy eyes of his for people to melt. Being the resourceful person you were, you utilised that talent of his to its full extent. 

“Can you go and flirt with the cashier so she gives us a free muffin?” 

Your best friend gave you a dirty look. “You do realise this is supposed to be your treat, right?” 

“I am paying!” you exclaimed. “Just go do your thing and make her feel generous enough to slip a free dessert in our order.” 

Jeno rolled his eyes, but you knew you’d won. You almost always did. “Fine, whatever. You owe me one though.” 

“I’m feeding you because I owe you one,” you pointed out. “This makes us equal.”

“How riveting. I have to work so the person who owes me doesn’t have to owe me anymore.” 

“We can argue about this for hours or you can haul ass to the counter and place the damn order. I’ll Venmo you the money the moment you’re back,” you promised. 

Sliding out of the booth, Jeno said, “You’re lucky you’re cute. If this were Jaemin, I wouldn’t be letting him off the hook easily.”

You stuck your tongue out at him and shooed him away. Narrowing his eyes, he grabbed your wrist and pulled you along. 

“Hey!” you cried. “Don’t take me with you! The flirting won’t have any effect on her if she thinks we’re together!” 

“Everyone thinks we’re together,” Jeno muttered and got in line behind an old man. “She checked me out when we entered the cafe, saw you arm-in-arm with me and gave you the dirtiest look to ever exist.” 

You snorted. “Liar. You might be an eye candy but you do not command such a high level of attention.”   

“I’m telling the truth!” he argued. “I would know because I was checking out the drink she placed on the counter. I was trying to figure out what the person’s order might have been to get something so incredibly delicious-looking. I saw her out of the corner of my eye.” 

“Oh.” You frowned and took a step forward when the line moved ahead. “That’s unfortunate. Should we go to another cafe and try our hand at getting something free there?” 

“How about you stop being such a cheap skate for once?”

Slapping his shoulder hard, you grumbled, “I have to bear the weight of my goddamn rent alone while you share yours with three others! I need to cut down on certain things, asshole.” 

“My offer to move in with you next semester still stands.” Jeno wiggled his eyebrows. “I’m a really good housemate; ask the others.” 

“You live with boys. The disgusting things you do don’t bother them because they do them too.” 

He closed his mouth and thought about it for a second. Then, “Touché.” 

You rolled your eyes, but before you could make another snarky comment, a pleasant voice interrupted, “Good morning. What can I get for you today?” 

Jeno averted his gaze to the girl standing behind the counter and let a lazy smile take form on his lips. You raised a brow and watched in amusement. 

“Hey there. Can I get a Strawberries & Crème Frappuccino with 1 pump caramel syrup, 1 pump hazelnut syrup, and 1 pump toffee-nut syrup? Java chips too, please.” 

The girl—Lia, according to her name tag—looked surprised to see him blatantly flirting with you right beside him. Maybe he was right about every stranger assuming the two of you to be together, though you couldn’t fathom why. “O—okay.”

“What do you want, friend?” Jeno stressed the last word. Refraining to roll your eyes a second time, you said, 

“Iced coffee without milk. Could you add some sugar to the brew? I prefer my drinks to be sweet.” 

“Of course,” she said and nodded once, unfazed even after learning of Jeno’s status as an eligible bachelor. 

Snorting under your breath, you whispered to him, “Lia doesn’t give a fuck. You’re lacking.” 

He scoffed and nudged you away. “No, I’m not,” he whisper-snapped. “Get out of here. You’re killing my vibe.” 

You deadpanned and gave him a don’t-bullshit-me look but retreated to your booth nonetheless. The last thing you heard Lia ask was: “Anything else?” 

You’d only been sitting and scrolling through your phone for a few minutes before a hand slapped a receipt on the table in front of you. 

Glancing up, you inquired, “What?” 

“Read the order.” 

Dropping your gaze to the piece of paper again, you picked it up. An appreciative frown tugged at your lips as Jeno slid into his seat. “You managed to get us a free muffin and a free bagel?”

“Don’t ever question my talents again,” he ordered and leaned back. Resting his arm on the cushion behind him and placing his ankle on his knee, his attitude was nothing short of a king’s. “I won’t tolerate any further slander.” 

“Uh-huh,” you muttered, utterly unimpressed. Though you admit, a smile threatened to break out on your face and you had to bite your lip to keep it from escaping. 

Jeno raised an eyebrow, as if waiting for something. All you did was stare at him, and when he realised you wouldn’t budge, he did an extremely horrible and high-pitched imitation of you that should have deserved jail. “Thank you sooooooo much, Jeno! If it weren’t for your flirting skills, I wouldn’t have anything to eat. You’re my one and only saviour, and I don’t know what I would have done without—”

“Order for Jeno!” Lia hollered. 

Said-boy flinched and clutched his heart with his hand. “What the… That was quick.” Clearing his throat, he turned his attention back to you, the tips of his ears red and his face flushed. “Whatever. I’ll be right back. Venmo me the bill amount.” 

You snickered and watched him get up. However, before he could move out of earshot, you called his name. “Thank you for your service.” 

Jeno glanced at you over his shoulder and did nothing but observe you for a moment. Then, a lopsided grin took form on his lips and he mock saluted. 

“You’re welcome.” 

02. gives good boy advice

“What are you doing here?” 

Pushing past you, Jeno strolled into your living room and plopped down on your sofa. “Is that any way to greet your best friend?” 

You rolled your eyes and closed the front door. Sitting down beside him, you placed your laptop on your lap again and resumed going through your notes. “I’m being serious. Were we supposed to hang out today? Because I cannot. I still have three finals left.” 

“No, we didn’t have any plans today,” he said, peering over your shoulder to check what subject you were studying. It was Economics. Horrible memories from the previous semester resurfaced and he shuddered before continuing, “Your text said you wanted to talk about something important?” 

You paused and glanced at him. “So you came over?” 

“Do you want me to leave?” Jeno frowned. “I thought it would be better to talk in person.”

He stood up and dusted himself off. Eyes widening, you grabbed his wrist and forced him back to his original position. “That’s not what I meant! I do want to talk to you but—it’s weird. I don’t feel like dealing with whatever has happened right now and I’m getting second thoughts about asking you for advice.” 

Concern seeped into Jeno’s face. “Woah, are you okay? You don’t have to explain anything right now. Just tell me one thing: do I need to beat anyone up? I’ve got a few gym buddies who are ripped.”

You huffed a laugh and placed your laptop on the coffee table. Crossing your legs, you turned to face him. Upon watching you get comfortable, your best friend rolled his shoulders back and did the same thing. 

“Before I say anything, I need you to promise me that you won’t laugh. Or make fun of me. Or call me an idiot.” 

“I won’t,” he answered immediately, though he wondered what issue warranted you to require his word. 

Taking a deep breath, you nodded. “YangYang asked me out a few days ago. I’ve always liked him, but not in a way that’s not platonic. I fucked up and instead of rejecting him right there, I asked him for some time to think it over and kinda led him to believe that I would say yes.”

Jeno raised an eyebrow. “How?” 

“I told him he’s my type,” you mumbled, cringing at the memories that came rushing back. 

“What?!” he exclaimed. “How the hell did you manage to do that?” 

“I don’t know!” you whined and buried your face in your hands. “He came up to me when I was in the library and asked if we could talk! I didn’t know he was going to drop such a bomb on me so I said yes. Then he started talking about how he’s always cherished our friendship and how he’s so glad to have me.

“I started suspecting where his train of thought was headed when he added a but to his sentence. He said he’s liked me for a while now and he couldn’t keep it to himself anymore. I was flabbergasted once he was done! I’ve always viewed him as a good friend and I didn’t want to just turn his heart down!”

“So you told him he was your type?” Jeno asked incredulously. “I know I promised to not call you an idiot but you’re really fucking stupid, Y/N! It’s going to be hella awkward when the group meets up!” 

You groaned and closed your eyes shut, letting yourself fall on your back. “That’s not even the worst part.” 

Jeno grabbed your wrists and hauled you back up. His face was barely a few inches away from yours when he ordered, “Explain.”

Taking a deep breath, you continued. “I told YangYang that he was cute and my type but I wasn’t in a position to think about going out with anyone with still two weeks of finals left to get through. I thought he would drop it but he asked me if I would think about his confession after our exams and I felt terrible telling him the truth. So I said I would. Yeji called me last night and said she set me up on a blind date with this guy in her class. You know how fast word spreads here. YangYang is going to know I dangled him on strings only to go on a date with someone else!” 

“You’re going on a blind date? With whom?” 

You flicked Jeno’s forehead. “That’s not the issue!” 

“Well, I want to know!” he sputtered and slapped your hand away. 

“I don’t know! Frankly, I don’t care either. I made a bet with Yeji and I lost. Now I have to spend an evening with a random guy I don’t even want to seek a romantic relationship with.” 

Your best friend sighed in frustration. “This might be one of your biggest fuck-ups till now.”

“I know,” you said quietly and dropped your gaze to your lap in shame. 

“You’ll have to apologise to YangYang and tell him the truth. He’s a good guy and he doesn’t deserve any of this.” 

“I know.” 

“Hey,” Jeno said softly. You glanced at him to see he’d gotten up and was holding his out for you. “Come here.” 

You rose to your feet and let him envelop you in his comforting embrace. Burying your face in his chest, you whispered, “I never wanted to hurt YangYang. I don’t want to lose him as a friend.” 

“You won’t as long as you come clean and explain everything. Don’t insult him further by giving him more half-truths. Guys would rather know what’s the real deal than be lied to and find out from someone else. Not only is it hurtful, but it’s a huge blow to the ego.”  

Your lips curled in a small smile and you leaned back a little to look at his face. “Is this about your mom lying to you about the tooth fairy?” 

“Damn right it is,” he grumbled. “I gave an entire speech about her being my favourite person in the whole world. That’s not something you recover from easily.”

“It’s been 15 years.”

“It’ll take me another 15 to come to terms with the fact that I used to rip my loose teeth out and place them under my pillow when I needed money urgently.” 

You laughed and pulled yourself out of his arms. “I can’t believe I’m taking guy advice from you.” 

“Why?” Jeno exclaimed. “I’m a guy too! Plus, I always give good advice!” 

You giggled and plopped down on the sofa again. “I know. But you’re also Jeno. I’ve never thought of you as just a guy.” 

“I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended.” 

“How about you sit your ass down and help me study now that you’re here? I made flash cards.” 

Snatching the stack from your hand, Jeno teased, “Oh, how would you survive without me?”

“I don’t have to wonder about that shit.” You grinned. “There’s no way in hell you’re getting rid of me anytime soon.” 

He laughed. “And thank fuck for that.” 

03. hugs always make you feel safe thanks to all the beef underneath

You were going to drag Jeno to the seventh circle of Hell. 

You couldn’t afford to go grocery shopping with him when you had a huge exam the next day. You hadn’t studied shit and were one “have you prepared for tomorrow’s final?” away from a mental breakdown. 

It didn’t help that Yeji had called you in the middle of the night to clear a doubt she had from a chapter you didn’t even know had been covered.

You’d been panicking ever since and it felt like you were going to get a heart attack at any moment.  

“Doritos or Lays?” 

“Kick to the nuts or knuckles to the jaw?” 

Your best friend tore his gaze from the rack of chips and eyed you warily. “I said I’ll help you study tonight.” 

“You don’t understand, Jeno!” you exclaimed and ran a hand through your messy hair, pacing in the supermarket aisle impatiently. “I’m going to fail! Fail!”  

Groaning, Jeno grabbed your arm and forced you to face him. He held your shoulders and looked you in the eyes, enunciating each word as he reiterated, “You’re not going to fail. We’re going to pull an all-nighter in the library, but we need to be stocked up on food before we do that.” 

You sighed painfully. It burned your eyes to just focus on anything—how the hell were you supposed to stay awake for another day and write a three-hour-long exam after that? 

“You could have come here without dragging me with you,” you muttered. “I could have been studying at home instead of wasting precious time.”

Jeno frowned. “Any more time in front of your laptop and you would have gone insane, Y/N. Your eyes are completely red.” 

“Oh, that’s not because of the screen time. I cried before you came to check on me.” 

Huffing a small laugh that bordered on exasperation, amusement and worry, Jeno threw a few packets of Doritos in the shopping cart before slinging an arm around your neck. You let him pull you against him and wrapped your arms around his waist as the two of you began walking. 

“Well, you needed to get out anyway. I don’t remember the last time I saw you leave your apartment.” 

“I stepped outside yesterday to play with the neighbour’s cat,” you said defensively. 

“Not good enough,” Jeno popped. “We’re going to go get a massage once we’re done shopping.” 

You stopped in your tracks and peeled yourself away from him. “The final is in twenty-eight hours!” you yelled, staring at him incredulously. “Are you fucking stupid?!” 

“So you have plenty of time to de-stress before you start studying again!” he chirped, paying no heed to your concerns nor the people who had heard your outburst and were giving you odd looks. “Trust me, I went for a massage before my final and I was so relaxed. It helped me to focus too.” 

“Jeno,” you uttered his name with barely contained impatience. “I don’t have time. I need to cover a lot of shit before I go and sit in the fucking examination hall.” 

“And I said I’ll help!” he repeated, sounding almost exasperated. Pushing the shopping cart forward again, he studied the shelves and continued, “You always do this, Y/N. You freak out before a test and act like the world is ending only for you to do super well.”

“Well—” you began, stumbling after him— “that’s just my coping mechanism! The more worried I am, the better I do. But I’m screwed for real this time!” 

“No,” Jeno popped, placing a 2-litre bottle of Sprite in the cart. “I’m not listening to you this time. Especially not after you stayed awake for three days straight for your midterm.” 

You sighed again. There was no arguing with your best friend. “How long is this massage of yours going to take?” 

“We’ll be back at your place in two hours max,” he reassured you, patting your head. You swatted his hand away and gave him a dirty look. “I think we have everything we need to make it through today and tomorrow.” 

“Why do we need such a big bottle of Sprite?” 

“Party at my place this weekend. There’s a discount so I’m buying in advance.”

You frowned. “Shouldn’t you be stocking up on booze?”

“The guys said I have an alcohol addiction,” Jeno said, getting in line at the billing counter. “Which is, like, totally untrue but you know I never back down from a challenge. I’m going to prove them wrong by staying sober for two weeks.”

“Sure,” you snorted. “You’ll just find lame loopholes or cheat when no one’s looking.”

A sly grin took form on Jeno’s lips. He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and drawled, “I know what you do when no one’s looking.”

“Really?” You feigned a gasp. “You know I sneak over to your house and steal your food when you’re not there?”

His smile dropped immediately. “Wait, what? That’s you? Not Hyuck?”

“The food thief is me but the one stealing your sheet masks is Hyuck,” you admitted.

“He steals my masks?! The ones I buy are expensive as fuck!” Jeno exclaimed, betrayal seeping into his features. His hands fell to his side and his eyes turned distant. “I can’t believe he’s been gaslighting me into thinking I do an extra round of skincare when I’m drunk.”

You giggled and pushed the shopping cart forward once the person in front of you was done. Placing the contents on the billing counter for the cashier to scan, you revealed, “Hyuck saw me raiding your pantry when you were at the gym. He used that as leverage against me for weeks before I saw him stealing your sheet masks and was able to finally strike a deal—he turns a blind eye to my robberies and I turn a blind eye to his.”

“Why’d you team up with him?” Jeno pouted. “I thought we were best friends.”

You laughed incredulously. “Seriously? That’s what you’re focusing on? Not the part where Hyuck and I used your stuff without asking?”

“Well, yeah, I’m pissed you used my shit. But I guess I’m just a little more bothered that you guys teamed up,” Jeno said and shrugged, fetching his wallet from the back pocket of his jeans. “Because, you know, coming together to make people suffer has always been our thing.”

You raised an eyebrow, slightly amused by how he was beating around the bush. “Are you saying you wanna team up with me to get back at Hyuck?”

Jeno grinned. “I’m gonna screw over that motherfucker so bad. You get off the hook, though, because you’re cute and I need your help.”

“You’re impossible.” You huffed and shook your head. Taking the bag of groceries, you said to him, “Text me my share and I’ll Venmo the money to you.”

“You could buy me an ice cream instead.”

“No,” you denied immediately. “We’re not wasting time on ice cream. Massage and then straight home so I can pick up my study material and we can leave for the library.”

Thankfully, Jeno didn’t protest. He drove you to your apartment complex and waited for you while you packed your bag. Then, the two of you were off to the massage place.

An hour later, you were done and forced to admit that the massage had indeed helped you. It felt like all the stress had left your body. Thinking about the final didn’t make you want to cry anymore and things were actually looking up now that you were rested.

You were able to retain the knowledge better and it was easier to understand the concepts. Jeno quizzed you and provided you with an endless supply of coffee throughout the night.

Right before lunch the next day, however, the panic resurfaced as you were revising your syllabus for the last time before your final at 3. You couldn’t seem to remember anything you had studied the previous night. 

You could feel another breakdown coming, but before you could hyperventilate, Jeno scooped you up in his arms.

You hadn’t even realised when he’d come back from picking up your food. One minute, you were trying to control your breath and the next, your face was buried in his hard chest.

You held onto his shirt as his hands rubbed soothing circles on your back and he rocked you from side to side.

“Shh, don’t cry,” he mumbled and kissed the top of your head. “You’re gonna ace the final like you always do. You were able to answer all the quiz questions, so keep in mind that you are prepared. The pre-exam anxiety is just clouding your thoughts. Everything’s gonna come back to you when you sit down to write, alright?”

Nodding, you clenched your eyes shut and bit down on your lip to keep a sob from escaping. Jeno’s presence kept acting like a tether for you. It always had.

Maybe he was right about the final. Maybe he wasn’t. But at that moment, engulfed in his warm, safe embrace, it felt like everything was going to be okay.

𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐒 !

01. having to deal with a narcissistic asshole. 

It was an especially sweltering day. 

You were being baked inside-out despite wearing a tank top and a pair of shorts, your hair tied in a messy high bun. Adding to your torment was your broken A/C. You’d requested your landlord to fix it several times but your efforts were to no avail. 

You would have kept bothering him incessantly and gotten the job done if you weren’t so intimidated by him already. 

Sighing, you eyed your bathroom. A cold shower sounded like an amazing idea. Jeno wasn’t supposed to come over to watch the movie for a while anyway. 

Deciding to cool yourself and get rid of the sweat sticking to your body, you entered the tiny bathroom. A high-pitched squeal left your mouth the moment you turned the shower knob and the cold water hit your skin. 

“Fuck,” you cursed and flinched, turning the knob the other way immediately. Your shitty apartment didn’t even have a valve to adjust the temperature—the water was either mildly hot or ice cold. Showering in summer was always a big problem.

“God, I don’t wanna keep doing this,” you mumbled to yourself and stepped into your room again. 

There was this… thing you’d been doing ever since you moved into this apartment. Whenever it was hot, you’d work out so you’d get more sweaty. That way, when you showered under the ice-cold water, it didn’t feel as unbearable. 

It was weird and there probably was no science behind it, but you didn’t care as long as it worked. 

So, you rolled out your yoga mat on the floor and began warming up. 

Within no time, your skin was glistening with sweat and your hair was damp. You were struggling to complete the last push-up of your final rep when someone knocked on your door, causing you to lose your focus. Your arms gave out beneath you, and you collapsed to the ground. 

“Woah, it’s boiling in here,” Jeno pointed out intelligently. “And you look like you’re one move away from dying. God, I can’t even breathe Why the fuck are you working out with the windows closed? Are you stupid?” 

Groaning, you rolled on your back and watched your best friend as he moved to the windows and threw them open. “Hey!” you protested weakly and raised a trembling arm in a pathetic attempt to stop him. “I’m trying to do something!”

Jeno raised an eyebrow at you and grabbed your hand, hauling you up effortlessly. “Oh, yeah? Pray tell.” 

You crashed into his chest and rebounded, but he tightened his hold on you. His palm hovered over your back in case you lost your balance. Steadying yourself, you glared at him and snapped, “No. You’re gonna make fun of me.”

“I won’t!” Jeno laughed, his eyes crinkling. 

“Stop, you’re doing it already!” 

“Okay! Okay, I’m sorry. I really do wanna know what you were doing.” 

You eyed him for a moment, waiting for him to slip up and start laughing again. But Jeno’s face remained mildly curious. Satisfied, you explained, “Well, because I was feeling hot, I decided to take a shower. The water here is very cold, though, so I decided to work out in a closed room because that would make me even hotter. If I get in the shower now, it wouldn’t feel as cold because my body temperature has already increased, and the water would be sort of neutralised.” 

A beat of silence passed. And then, “I know I said I wouldn’t make fun of you—”

“Then stop talking.”

“But did you not realise you could have mixed the hot and cold water in a bucket?” Jeno continued, clearly still talking. “Or, I don’t know, come over to my place to shower?” 

“You live with three other men.” You deadpanned. “I was not going to shower in your apartment with Jaemin, Renjun and Hyuck there. Also, I don’t have a big enough bucket, so I will be buying one today,” you added, muttering the last bit. 

Jeno rolled his eyes. “God, Y/N, I would have kicked the guys out.” 

“What makes you think they would have listened to you?” you asked amusedly.

“Okay, true,” he agreed. “They would have listened to you, though. If there’s anyone who’s bossy enough to get them out of the house on a hot Sunday afternoon, it’s you.” 

“Are you calling me bossy?” 

“Are you going to shower now?” he deflected. “You stink.”

“Shut up!” you exclaimed and slapped his shoulder hard, but laughed nonetheless. Moving away from him, you kicked him off your yoga mat and said, “You opened the windows and interrupted my workout, so I don’t feel as hot anymore. I think I’m gonna exercise a little more so I don’t die of hypothermia in the shower. You can take my laptop and choose a movie till then if you want.”

“How about I work out with you?” Jeno suggested. “We can have our gym bros moment.” 

“I don’t wanna have a gym bros moment with you.”

“Why?” he whined. 

Flicking his forehead, you said, “Because I know you’re gonna turn this into a competition, and I’m not in the mood.” 

“Scared?”

“You wish,” you scoffed. “I’m tired from all the working out I did before you came, and I’m not going against you when you have that advantage over me.” 

“That still means you’re scared. Pussy.”

Letting out an exasperated sigh, you got into the position for a plank. “Get out if you’re going to keep being annoying and not contribute shit to our gym bros moment.”

“I knew you’d come around,” Jeno replied smugly. You practically heard the grin in his voice when he said that. 

You closed your eyes and laboured your breathing as you felt your abdomen begin to burn almost immediately. “Had to, or I knew you’d keep irritating me.” 

Opening your lids, you turned your neck to see if he was doing the exercise with you. 

Your arms gave out the moment you saw Jeno shirtless, his bulging biceps on full display.

“Damn, you lost quicker than I thought,” he commented. 

“Why are you naked?!” you demanded in a shrill voice. 

Still in position, Jeno only glanced at you like you were out of your mind. “I was wearing a hoodie, Y/N. Did you expect me to do a plank in that furnace?” 

“Yeah!” you exclaimed. To your dismay, your eyes kept drifting to his well-defined muscles no matter how much you tried to focus on his face. 

To make things worse, Jeno noticed. And smirked. “Stop complaining if you’re enjoying the view so much. It’s okay to admit you have a hot best friend.”

Flustered, you scrambled to your feet and looked at the ceiling. God, you felt like a stupid middle schooler. It was insane how much of an effect Jeno was having on you. What was weirder was that your mind was drifting to places it had never been before. At least where your best friend was concerned. 

“Narcissus has nothing on you,” you muttered under your breath, and tried to gather your bearings. 

“Besides,” Jeno continued, having not heard you. “I do send you pictures sometimes. I don’t know why you’re acting like you’ve never seen me like this.” 

“Your phone’s camera is fucked, Jeno,” you grumbled. “The photos you texted me didn’t capture half of what’s actually there.”

No matter what you hadn’t seen, you’d felt whenever you hugged each other. It didn’t take away your surprise upon seeing the 2440p quality visual though. 

“Is that disappointment I hear?” he taunted. 

“No!” you exclaimed and finally looked at him again. At the sight of his working muscles, you muttered, “Can we stop now? You won.”

“Ah!” Jeno dragged the word as if he had just stumbled upon a revelation. “You want me to stand up so you can get a better view of my abs? Got it.” 

Your eyes widened, and before you could deny his ridiculous accusations, he was towering over you. Wiggling his eyebrows, he gestured towards himself and flexed dramatically. 

“You’re an idiot,” you huffed, unable to help yourself. 

“Yeah? Then I guess an idiot just managed to fluster the shit out of you.” Jeno smiled and ruffled your hair. Bending, he picked up his discarded hoodie and shrugged it back on. “I’ll go and get you a bathing bucket from the supermarket around the corner. Don’t freeze yourself to death.” 

You rolled your eyes. “I won’t.” 

“Also, do you remember the shirt I forgot here all those months ago after I got wet in the rain? Can you find it so I can change into it when I’m back?” He frowned and looked at himself. “I’ll eventually toast myself if I watch the movie in my hoodie.”

“Sure, but you’re stupid for wearing warm clothes in summer,” you commented.  

Jeno gave you a dirty look. “Sorry for assuming your A/C was in working condition. Besides, you always want to cuddle when we watch movies, so I figured you’d be more comfortable if I was wearing a hoodie.” 

Your cheeks warmed at that, your heart stumbling a beat. What was wrong with you? You’d always known Jeno was caring and went out of his way to do nice things for you.

Typically, you’d have felt grateful for how thoughtful he was being. 

Now, though, you felt that and… something else that you didn’t really want to acknowledge. 

“Whatever,” you said instead, trying to sound dismissive. Pushing him out of your room, you continued, “I’ll find it. Just hurry up with the bucket.” 

A few minutes after Jeno was gone, a notification popped up on your phone. 

[jeno]: clearer picture that i clicked on jaemin’s phone for your viewing pleasure :”) 

You blinked in confusion and opened the photo that was attached below, your eyes widening the moment you saw it. It was a zoomed-in gym mirror selfie of Jeno wearing nothing but sweatpants and shoes, his muscular abdomen on full display. 

[you]: did you crop jaemin? 

[jeno]: ???? [jeno]: wdym……. [you]: the photo’s dimensions are weird [jeno]: oh [jeno]: what the fuck [you]: LMFAOOO [jeno]: STOP I DIDN’T WANT YOU LOOKING AT HIM INSTEAD OF ME I’VE GOT A BETTER BODY ANYWAY AND I’M GONNA BUY A NEW PHONE SO I CAN SEND YOU CLEARER PICS WITHOUT HAVING TO CROP THAT FUCKER OUT 

You bit down on your lip to keep yourself from smiling too wide. Right before you were about to type a reply, you received another text from your best friend. 

[jeno]: so are you gonna tell me what you think [you]: FINE you’re hot. [you]: happy?  [jeno]: euphoric

Finally laughing out loud, you shook your head. 

Narcissus had nothing on Jeno indeed.

02. female friends ask you to be their wingwoman 

You didn’t think you’d ever accompanied Jeno to a party without having someone ask you to set them up with him. 

“Please,” Yoo Jimin begged for what seemed like the thousandth time. “Yeji said he was single!” 

Sighing, you mentally cursed Yeji for inviting Jimin to Jeno’s party. “He is, but I’m not setting you up with him.” 

“Why?” Jimin demanded rather aggressively, making you wonder what it would take for her to quit nagging you. “Do you like him or something?” 

It took a concerning amount of effort for you to refrain from rolling your eyes. “I do not.” 

“Then what’s the problem?” 

“I don’t know, Jimin!” you finally burst and gestured at your surroundings. “Maybe I’m not too keen on helping you out because you followed me into the washroom and cornered me! Maybe I feel used because you’ve never shown much interest in me even though I’ve tried striking up a conversation with you several times before!”  

Jimin’s features softened, and she looked away. “You’re right,” she muttered, guilt and shame evident in her voice. “I’m sorry for jumping on you like that.” 

You immediately felt bad for snapping at her. Pursing your lips, you tried to cheer her up. “Don’t worry about it. You don’t need me to set you up with him anyway. I know we haven’t hung out much, but based on what I’ve heard about you from Yeji, you’re smart, funny and social. You have no reason to be nervous while approaching Jeno.” 

For some reason, you regretted encouraging Jimin to pursue your best friend. A gaping hole formed in your heart, and you wished she would go for someone else instead. 

“Thanks, Y/N.” Jimin smiled gratefully. “I know I’ve been a shitty person, but could you give me another chance? I’d really like to get to know you more.” 

And just like that, the hollowness in your chest was gone. You gave her a genuine smile of your own and said, “I gotta pee right now, but does lunch tomorrow work for you?”

Jimin’s eyes widened. “Shit, I’m so sorry. I forgot where we were.” Rubbing the nape of her neck sheepishly, she replied, “Lunch works. I’ll text you tonight so we can talk about it.” 

The two of you exchanged your goodbyes, and then she was gone. A few minutes later, you exited the washroom as well and headed back to the party. 

“I missed you,” a voice slurred in your ear. Arms circled around your waist, and a face buried itself into the crook of your neck. 

You laughed. “You failed the challenge, Jeno.” 

“Where were you?” he demanded in an almost whiny tone. “It’s your fault! I wouldn’t have lost at beer pong if you’d been playing with me.” 

Patting Jeno’s back in consolation, you replied, “I’m sorry you have zero self-control and commit to things you know you won’t be able to do.” 

Jeno peeled himself away from you and pouted. “You’re mean.”

“Thanks. Let’s get wasted together,” you said, but then added upon looking at his already tipsy condition, “Or I can get wasted, and your ass can keep me company.”  

“Don’t you think one of us should be sober?” Jeno asked as you pulled him along.

“I’m not gonna hold back from drinking!” you exclaimed. “Let me remind you that you were supposed to be the sober one today and make sure I didn’t do anything stupid. I’m blaming you if I get naked in the yard.” 

Thanks to the music that was gradually getting louder as you approached the main party area, you didn’t hear your best friend’s response. You tightened your grip on his hand when the crowd thickened. Wading your way through the dancing throng, you finally reached the table lined with alcohol and food. 

You chose a bottle of Romanov and popped it open, drinking straight from it. You’d barely taken a few gulps when Jeno snatched it from you and put it to his own mouth. 

Throwing him a dirty look, you picked up another bottle for yourself. “Do you wanna dance?”

“I wanna throw up.” 

“Suit yourself.” You shrugged and aimed for the dance floor. A smile crept on your face upon seeing Jaemin; you were not in the mood to dance alone. 

“Y/N!” he hollered when he noticed you. Stumbling towards you, he pulled you in a quick embrace. “I haven’t seen you in so long!” 

“Finals!” you answered. Jaemin nodded in understanding and ran a hand through his hair, taking a swig from his beer. “Do you wanna dance?” 

You grinned. “You know I do.” 

The next few hours were a complete blur. The bottle in your hand was replaced by more one after the other, and when Jaemin deemed you’d had enough to drink, he gave you a red solo cup filled with water instead. 

It felt good to finally unwind after the horrible few weeks you’d had. There was no academic stress weighing down on you anymore, and though you were low on sleep, you didn’t want to stop partying. 

You just wished you and Jeno had gotten wasted together. While you were having fun with Jaemin, partying with Jeno was a different experience entirely. 

Right as you were about to take a sip from your cup, you felt an arm being thrown around your neck. The touch was so familiar that you recognised who it was immediately. 

“I missed you!” you exclaimed. Jeno looked down at you with a grin on his face, a pair of black party glasses sitting on his nose. His hair was damp and fell over his forehead. Maybe it was the liquor in your system, but you could have sworn he never looked better. “Let’s dance.”

“Dance?” Jeno laughed. “Haven’t you been doing that for the past two hours? Don’t your feet hurt?” 

Frowning, you glanced at your legs. “They do!” you exclaimed, and looked back at him again, your bottom lip sticking out in a pout. Feeling tears beginning to pool in your eyes, you mumbled, “But I still want to dance.”

“How about we go on the roof instead? The stars look pretty tonight,” your best friend suggested, trying his best not to laugh at you. “I didn’t drink at all after you left me. I’m sober enough to take care of you now.” 

Your eyes lit up at that. “Wow, that’s such a good idea! You’re so smart, Jeno. I love you.”  

Jeno’s lips finally twitched up in a smile. “I love you too, silly.” 

Plucking the solo cup out of your hand, he offered you an arm. You looped yours through it with a soft thank you and leaned on him as he led you upstairs. 

The two of you entered his dark room, and Jeno shut the door behind him. Only when the loud music was muffled did you realise your head was throbbing.  

He unhooked your arms gently and grabbed a warm blanket off his bed. Throwing open his window, he jumped out on the flat roof and looked at you expectantly. 

You staggered behind Jeno and took the hand he was holding out for you. His other hand hovered over your waist as you climbed on the sill. 

Thanks to the alcohol in your system, your balance was non-existent, and your legs turned to jelly the moment they made contact with the roof. Fortunately, your best friend was there to catch you.

You bumped into Jeno’s chest instead of falling to the ground. He wrapped his arms around you and steadied you, laughing a little at your antics. 

“God, how much did you drink?” you heard him wonder to himself. You mumbled an incoherent response and leaned against the outside wall of his room, watching him lay the spread on the floor. 

The two of you usually climbed the ladder that led to the slanting roof at the very top of the house, but you reckoned the boy in front of you didn’t want to risk taking you up there when you were so wasted. 

Jeno sat down on the blanket once he was done and peeked at you over his shoulder, patting the space beside him. “Come on.” 

Pushing yourself off the siding, you stumbled to him, tripping over your feet a bit. You were able to keep your balance, though, and a moment later, you found yourself lying on the blanket next to him.

Your shoulders brushed against each other, the warmth from his body seeping into you. It was summer, but the night air was still chilly, especially now that you were on the roof. You were thankful for the protection Jeno offered against the mild cold. 

The music was blaring once again now that you were outside, and there were no barriers to deafen it, but the volume barely bothered you. Your eyes were on the stars, trying to identify the constellations.

“I see Orion right there,” Jeno said, pointing at the sky. You followed his finger, and sure enough, there it was. “And there’s Ursa Minor.” He moved his hand after noting that you had recognised Orion. 

“I don’t see it,” you muttered, blinking heavily to clear your sight. 

“Can you see Polaris?” he asked, glancing at you for a moment. 

You raised your hand and pointed it at a random star that was nowhere near the one Jeno was referring to. “There.” 

Jeno snorted. “You could spot Orion, but you can’t identify the brightest star in the sky?” Without waiting for a response, your best friend grabbed your arm and directed it to the right star. “That is Polaris.” 

“Woah.” You gaped and lowered your arm. “It’s so shiny.” 

Jeno laughed again upon hearing the child-like wonder in your voice. You stargazed often and always challenged each other to see who could identify the most constellations in a minute. He knew the night sky was familiar to you, but seeing you like this reminded Jeno of the first time he brought you to his roof and introduced you to his favourite hobby. 

“Do you want it?” he teased. 

Eyes widening, you turned your neck to look at him, your faces so close you could count his lashes. “Really?” 

“Really,” he said and pinched your cheek, unable to help himself. “I’ll get it for you.” 

A wide smile immediately broke across your lips, and you threw your arms around him, hugging him tightly. “Thank you!” you squealed. 

Jeno chuckled, a little surprised that you had practically climbed on top of him, and part of him was caged under you now. He didn’t mind the sudden intimacy. It had always been his love language; any sort of physical contact with you—be it comparing hand sizes or carrying you on his back—warmed his heart. 

Patting your head, he asked, “You want me to show you the rest of Ursa Minor?” 

“Yes.” You nodded into the crook of his neck and peeled yourself away from him, but your head still rested where his shoulder met his arm. 

Brushing away a strand of hair that had fallen on your face, he averted his gaze to the sky. “Polaris is the tail of The Little Dipper. Now we move towards the left. See the star that’s above the brightest? That’s Delta. Epsilon is above Delta too, but the distance between them is not as much as the distance between the first two. Zeta is below—” 

You tuned Jeno out. He was still showing you the stars that made up the constellations, far too invested to notice that you were no longer paying attention to what he was saying and were looking at something much more beautiful instead. 

You’d always known your best friend was attractive. You’d have to be blind to not notice his striking features—they were sharp with a certain softness around the edges. His face always stood out in crowds and demanded people’s undivided attention. 

Rightfully so, you thought to yourself as you admired his perfectly straight nose and the shape of his soft lips, diverting your gaze to his eyes. You’d always thought they were his best features. They were warm and open and felt like home. It deserves to be appreciated. 

“Pherka, Eta, Kochab and Zeta form a—”

“You’re prettier.”

Jeno glanced at you, your faces mere inches away and those beautiful eyes peering into yours with slight confusion. “What?”

“You said the stars looked pretty tonight,” you whispered. “I think you’re prettier.” You paused for a moment, as if rethinking your words. Then, “I think you’re the prettiest person in the world.”

A fond smile crept on your best friend’s face, and maybe it was because your ear was in the vicinity of his heart, but you could have sworn you heard it thumping loudly against his ribcage. Lightly bumping his forehead against yours, Jeno whispered back, 

“I think you’re the prettiest person in the world too.” 

03. it’s very easy to fall for them, especially when they’re always so sweet and caring

The first thing you felt upon regaining your consciousness was pain. 

Your skull was splitting apart, the little bit of sunlight creeping in through the closed curtains rendering you blind. Nausea was beginning to set in, but your body was so weak that you weren’t sure you could make it to the toilet in time. 

You should have never drunk so much. Not only had you not taken any proper rest after working yourself to exhaustion during your finals, but had also danced to the point you couldn’t move your legs. Heck, you couldn’t even remember much of the party. You recalled leaving Jeno behind to party with Jaemin, but everything after that was a huge blank slate. 

The toilet was far away, but you could try reaching the dustbin near the study table instead of just throwing up on the carpet. Groaning, you tried to push yourself up. When that didn’t work, you put all strength in your abdomen and threw yourself off the bed. 

A shockwave of agony passing through your body rendered you immobile on the ground. You moaned in pain and curled in on yourself, covering your mouth with a hand upon tasting bile on your tongue. 

The door was thrown open, and a worried Jeno gaped at you lying on his room’s hard floor motionlessly. “What the fuck?” 

“Dustbin,” you croaked with much difficulty, tears springing to your eyes. They hurt so much you wanted to rip them out. 

Your best friend moved into action immediately. “I kept the dustbin right beside the bed in case you got sick, you blind twat truck. Along with painkillers and water on the table.”  

You found it in yourself to glare at the boy, but he ignored you. Placing the waste basket in front of you, he helped you up. You gripped the rim as he gathered your hair in his hand and held it up to avoid it getting in the way of your vomit. 

Right before you emptied the toxins in your body, you managed to say to him, “How capable do I look to you right now, you stupid toe-licking grinch man?” 

Jeno rolled his eyes and rubbed your back with his other hand, patiently waiting for you to finish. Once your heaving stopped, you took the tissue he was holding out for you and wiped your mouth. You felt much better after throwing up but you were still so tired. 

“Come on.”

You swatted Jeno’s hand away and rested your back on his bed, tucking your legs under your chin. “Too much effort,” you muttered and closed your eyes, willing the headache to go away.

“I was going to carry you to the bed, Y/N,” he said in exasperation. 

“I just need a moment,” you whispered almost incoherently, wishing he would stop asking you questions when you had no energy to answer. “A moment and an Aspirin.” 

There was some shuffling, and then you felt a hand brushing your matted hair out of your face. “Here.”

You peeled your lids open to see Jeno crouched in front of you with water and the painkiller you had asked for. Taking it from his hand, you popped it into your mouth and gulped down some water. 

For a few moments, you tried to regulate your breathing and calm yourself down. Jeno could tell you were gathering the willpower and strength to climb back on his bed. He wanted to help, but you clearly didn’t want it. So, he just watched you silently struggle.

He should have been with you last night; he hated that he wasn’t when he had promised to be the sober half. As far as Jeno was concerned, Jaemin was going to get an earful about keeping tabs on how much his friends drank. Never in the two years of friendship had he seen you with such a huge hangover. 

“Fuck,” he heard you curse under your breath. You moaned in pain as you pushed yourself up on trembling arms and fell on his mattress. Sighing, Jeno tucked you in and pressed a chaste kiss on your forehead. 

“Sleep well,” he said and made his way to the door. “I’ll wake you up for lunch. Renjun is making grilled sandwiches.” 

Your eyes flew open again. Fuck. You were supposed to meet Jimin. 

“Jeno, wait,” you blurted, and he stopped in his tracks. “I was supposed to meet a friend for lunch, but I don’t think I can make it. Can you cover for me?” 

Your best friend leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms over his chest. “Which friend?” 

“Jimin.” 

“I thought she ghosted you.” He frowned. “Now you’re meeting her for lunch?” 

“No, you are meeting her for lunch. I don’t wanna be rude and cancel at the last minute. What if she already left?”

“It’s 10 in the morning.”

“Well, what if she turned down other offers because of the plans we made?” 

“She left an hour ago with Mark after passing out on the couch in Hyuck’s room last night. I doubt she’s had the time to turn down any other offers. Actually, I think she’ll be glad you cancelled. She looked pretty hungover when she left.”

“Why are you being so difficult?” you whined, wincing when the throbbing in your head responded to the sudden increase in the volume of your voice. “I’m only asking you for a small favour.” 

“I’m not being difficult,” Jeno defended himself and took a few steps towards you. “I’m trying to tell you that you may be overthinking this. Let me send her a text from your phone asking for a reschedule, and we can have some homemade lunch with the guys.” 

Sighing heavily, you averted your gaze from his and stared at the ceiling. “I just don’t wanna blow this. I think she’s really cool and I’d like to get to know her more. I’m good friends with everyone in our social circle except her. It’s awkward.” 

Jeno’s eyes softened at that. “Y/N, you’re not blowing anything. Rescheduling lunch because you both partied till you collapsed is not going to take away any points. Trust me.” 

Your best friend was right. You were overthinking this, but you didn’t exactly blame yourself. All your efforts to befriend Jimin had been futile till now. You didn’t want to do anything that could mess up the friendship that had begun to bloom last night. 

“Fine,” you finally relented. “Shoot her a text from my phone. I think it’s in my clothes bag—” you paused, your eyes widening. Lifting Jeno’s duvet in panic, you looked down at yourself. “Who changed my clothes?” 

“Ningning did!” Jeno answered quickly, the tips of his ears turning a bright red. He couldn’t understand why he was freaking out—nothing happened. 

You exhaled in relief, trying to get rid of the alien tingling feeling spreading throughout your body. Your cheeks were hot with embarrassment. “Okay. Well, my phone’s in my clothes bag.” 

Jeno busied himself, rummaging through your backpack that was on his bedside table. What you didn’t know, however, was that it was just a front for him to calm himself down. “Got it.” He waved the phone at you. “What’s your pin?”

“Your birthday.”

His eyebrows disappeared into his hairline, and a seed of warmth sprouted in his chest. A dizzying sense of affection for you washed over him, drenching him in happiness from head to toe. “Really?” 

You nodded and closed your eyes. Turning on your side to get into a more comfortable sleeping position, you buried yourself deeper under his sheets. Yawning, you mumbled, “Day-Month-Year with leading zeros.” 

“My password is your birthday too,” he said quietly after sending Jimin the text. “A lot of them are. It’s the easiest set of numbers to remember.”

You didn’t respond. Jeno didn’t mind. He knew you’d already fallen asleep. Keeping your phone on the table, he smiled sadly and stared at your resting figure in longing. “Everything about you is so easy to remember.”

Jeno closed the door behind him as he left, none the wiser about the fact that you were still awake and had heard everything he’d said, your heart beating so fast that you thought it was going to leap out of your chest. 

Your best friend left, completely unaware of the fact that you were now entertaining the possibility of being in love with him. 

𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐄𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐒 !

01. the green-eyed monster you resent makes an appearance more than you’d like

You genuinely couldn’t believe your friend group and their seemingly never-ending social battery. 

One would think that after a long night of partying, a person would stay at home the next day and take some much-needed rest. Your friends, however, thought it was a good idea to meet up for dinner and decide what to do over the weekend. 

You didn’t bother to remind them of the wonderful invention that was group chats. 

“We should drive up to the beach,” Mark suggested, flipping through the menu. “Summer just started, so I don’t think there will be a lot of people.” 

All of you were seated in a round booth at the back of a diner Chenle said he frequented. You weren’t going to lie; you could see why. The setting was very homey, and the cushioning of the sofa was very cosy—you were almost sure you were going to fall asleep even before your food arrived. 

Ningning, who was sitting beside Mark, peeked over his shoulder to see what was listed. Minjeong said, “That’s stupid. The start of summer is exactly when beaches get overcrowded. Most don’t get to visit the ocean during the year, so they make a beeline for the beach as soon as break begins.”  

“True,” you heard Jeno say. He leaned back in his seat and put his arm on the cushion behind you. You resisted the urge to lean in. Taking a sip of his water, he continued, “Besides, we’re already going to Jeju Island for a week next month. I don’t think we should drive three hours to go to the beach right now.” 

“What about karaoke?” Jimin piped up. She was sitting on the other side of Minjeong, opposite from Chenle, who was on the other side of the table. 

“We don’t need an entire weekend for just karaoke,” Chenle pointed out. “We could do it whenever we want.”

“Well, what about—” 

“Hey, can I take your order?” a female voice that was a combination of annoyed, upbeat, friendly and polite interrupted Minjeong. The girl looked a little flustered at being cut off, but she cleared her throat and mumbled a small yeah, just give us a minute.

The waitress did not move, so all of you awkwardly picked up the menu cards and began flipping through them. 

“The usual for me, Yuna,” Chenle said, smiling up at her. To diffuse the sudden tension created in the air, he began making small talk with her as she waited. 

“What are you eating?” Jeno asked. He was closer to you now, his eyes scanning the contents of the menu card in your hand over your shoulder. 

You shrugged. “I don’t think I’m eating anything. I’m not very hungry.” 

Jeno’s eyebrows creased, and he glanced at your face in worry. “You haven’t had anything since lunch. At least drink something.” 

“It’s fine.” You dismissed him with a wave of your hand and pushed the card in his direction so he could order whatever he wanted. “I won’t be able to finish anything by myself and I don’t wanna waste food.” 

“How about we share?” he insisted. “You eat however much you want, and I’ll finish the rest. Don’t go to sleep on an empty stomach.” 

An internal battle began. While Jeno’s suggestion was sensible, you knew he didn’t like to share his food with anyone. You remembered a time when he had refused to go on a second date with a girl because she kept nibbling on his meal. You didn’t want him to do something he hated just for your sake. 

“Really, it’s fine,” you repeated. “You go ahead and—”

“Hey, Y/N,” Yeji called, making you divert your attention to her. “You wanna share a triple-decker chicken sandwich? Chenle said this place is famous all over town for that dish.” 

You had to admit, a triple-decker chicken sandwich did sound tasty. But you’d just turned down Jeno, so you didn’t wanna say yes to Yeji. Shaking your head, you once again said, “I’m not hungry.”

“Why aren’t you hungry?” Mark frowned, overhearing your conversation. The rest of your friend group looked at you in concern. Ningning asked, “Are you okay?” 

You groaned. The last thing you wanted to do was explain to everyone why you didn’t have an appetite. “I’m okay. I’m just not hungry because I had a lot for lunch.”

“That’s a lie,” Jeno commented unhelpfully, and you smacked his shoulder hard in retaliation. He winced, rubbing the area of attack. “Hey!” 

“Shut up!” you exclaimed. Taking a deep breath, you said to everyone with as little annoyance in your voice as you could, “Please just order what you want. I still feel a little weird after last night’s party, and I don’t think I can stomach anything right now.” Before anyone could reply, you added, “I’m going to the restroom. Be right back.” 

Yeji looked a little stunned, but she got up from her seat and let you leave the booth when you requested her to move. Locking yourself in one of the stalls, you clutched your stomach and curled in on yourself, closing your eyes. 

Your period cramps were especially painful this time. Maybe it was because of last night’s exertion, but your cycle was early too. Your stomach was in too many knots for you to even think about eating anything. 

The washroom’s door opened, and you heard soft footsteps trudging towards you. Knocking on the only occupied stall’s door, a female voice asked, “Is everything okay, Y/N?” 

“Yeah,” you croaked, feeling tears burning your eyes. “Everything’s fine, Jimin. I just have period cramps, that’s all.” 

“Oh.” There was silence for a moment. “I have painkillers. Do you want them?” 

Exhaling through your mouth, you wiped your moist cheeks and stepped out of the stall. “Sure.”

Jimin smiled at you reassuringly and handed you a wet wipe, looping her arm through yours. “Don’t worry. I got you.”

Your heart swelled with happiness and gratitude. You’d wanted to connect with her for so long, and it finally felt like you were getting somewhere this time. Maybe you were being overemotional due to your fluctuating hormones, but you wanted to pull her into a hug.

“Oh, also,” you started a little sheepishly, “I wanted to apologise in person about cancelling on you earlier today. I drank and partied more than I should have. I thought about sending Jeno to cover for me, but he pointed out that it would have been awkward for you to see him when you were expecting me.”

“Woah, wait!” she gaped and took a step away from you. The shock on her face surprised you for a moment, but the feeling didn’t last long. “You’re kidding me! You should have kept insisting, Y/N! A lunch date would have been the perfect way for us to get closer!”

“I don’t think he would have considered the lunch a date because he was just a stand-in for me,” you said awkwardly, and threw the used wipe in the dustbin. 

Jimin waved you away as you walked out of the restroom and back to your booth. “I mean, yeah, it wouldn’t have been an official date, but it would have given me the opportunity to ask him out on a real one.”

“Right.”  

You hated the way you sounded. You hated the way your stomach churned, and your mood dropped. You hated that someone was pursuing Jeno. You hated that you were being forced to play Cupid, all thanks to your strong refusal to admit your feelings and the friendship you wanted to build with the girl next to you. 

“Oh, my God!” Jimin exclaimed, too immersed in her own fantasies to have noticed the change in your tone and demeanour. “I can make up for the missed opportunity by sitting next to him right now! You wouldn’t mind, would you?” 

You did mind. The idea of her making a move on your best friend made you want to dig a hole and cry. God, you were being so pathetic. This was completely unlike you, and you despised the way you were acting. You had to pull yourself together immediately. 

Besides, it wasn’t like you were ever going to explore these newfound feelings you had for Jeno. The last thing you wanted to do was ruin your friendship. Forcing an encouraging smile on your face, you said, “Um, sure! That’s a really good idea.”

“Took you guys long enough,” Chenle commented once you returned. 

You raised an eyebrow. “Did you have any other places to be?” 

“I mean I was worried.” He rolled his eyes. “We ordered food while you were gone. You sure you don’t want anything, Y/N?” 

“Yep,” you said, popping the last letter. “Scoot over and make space for us.” 

Yeji got up again and stood to the side as Jimin, and you slid into the booth. “The two of you better not make me get up again. I’m not budging even if you need to take a big dump.” 

“Sorry,” you muttered, smiling at her sheepishly. Making yourself comfortable, you grabbed your glass of water and dipped a straw in it, idly sipping the liquid. 

Jeno’s gaze caught yours from behind Jimin’s back. He pointed at her with a frown on his face and mouthed, “Why is she sitting beside me?” 

You waved him away and turned your attention to the rest of your friends. “Please tell me you guys finally decided what we’re doing over the weekend.”

“We did,” Mark piped up. “We’re thinking of going to an amusement park and then a water park.”

Jimin frowned. “Won’t those places be crowded as well?” 

“We just need to accept that most destinations will be. Everyone’s on break, so it doesn’t matter where we go. There will be people everywhere.” 

You agreed with Minjeong. “Amusement park it is. Can we hit the bars at night?”

“It won’t be much of a trip if we don’t.” Ningning grinned. “You sure you want to go clubbing so soon though? You were completely wasted when Jeno called me to his room and made me change your clothes last night.”

Mark snickered. “Are you scared of changing your own girlfriend’s clothes, Jeno?”  

Silence. No one spoke. 

NingNing was staring at Mark incredulously, and Yeji seemed to be suffering through an extreme case of second-hand embarrassment. Chenle pretended to flip through the menu while Minjeong grabbed her phone and scrolled through the apps on her home screen in an attempt to look busy. 

Jimin whirled to face you so fast that you wondered how her neck hadn’t snapped. You couldn’t even dare to look at Jeno to see what reaction Mark’s words had evoked out of him. 

Laughing awkwardly, you asked, “Who said we’re dating?” 

“You’re kidding me, right?” Mark scoffed in disbelief. “You guys are so bad at keeping your relationship private. Everyone knows there’s something going on between the two of you.” 

“Is that true?” Jeno asked, but no one present at the table dared to meet his gaze. “Do all of you think there’s something going on between Y/N and me?” 

“I mean….” Chenle began, dragging the word out. “You both are very close. People who claim to be just friends don’t cross the boundaries you two step all over everyday. But we’ve never seen you kiss either, so we’re not sure if you’re dating secretly or…” 

“You guys are crazy,” you interrupted. “Stop speculating about our relationship. It’s weird.” Turning to face a very betrayed-looking Jimin, you enunciated, “Jeno and I are just friends. That’s all there is to us.”

“Yeah,” Jeno added, glancing at you. “Y/N and I will only ever be friends. There’s no way I would date her. I don’t find her attractive in a romantic way.” 

Feeling a knot form in your heart and anger bubble in the pit of your stomach, you snapped, “Same. Jeno’s not even my type. I wouldn’t get together with him if we were the only people left on Earth.” 

Your friends exchanged knowing glances, and poor Jimin, who was stuck sitting between Jeno and you, made an attempt to diffuse the tension. “Okay, guys. We get it.” 

“I’m not sure you do,” Jeno hissed, staring all your friends down. “I can see your damn faces. The only way you’re going to believe I’m not into Y/N is if I prove it to you by going out with someone else.” 

Minjeong began, “That’s not—” 

“No, he’s right,” you fumed. Under the table, your hand curled into a fist. “The only way you guys are going to get this stupid image of Jeno and me being together romantically is if we date other people.” 

“The two of you are overreacting!” Yeji exclaimed. “There’s no need to get so defensive! We were wrong for assuming, and Mark was an idiot for opening his fat mouth. I’m sure you both would have told us if there was something. We’re all sorry.” 

There was a chorus of agreement on the table. Everyone genuinely seemed to be apologetic—except Mark, who was glaring at Yeji and looked mad for being called an idiot. His eyes met yours, and a sheepish smile took form on his lips. 

You huffed a small laugh and shook your head, but your heart was still in knots. There was a certain hollowness in the pit of your stomach. You felt sick and anxious. 

Did Jeno really have to say all those hurtful things just to convince your friends about your platonic relationship? He didn’t need to sound so offended and make your mutual denial a competition. 

Sure, you were the one who had declared there would never be anything more than just friendship between Jeno and you, but he didn’t have to cross the line by saying you weren’t appealing to him. 

Besides, you’d said what you’d said for Jimin. You didn’t actually mean the words that left your mouth. Considering the emotions you’d been feeling recently, it would be a lie to claim you didn’t hope for a different sort of future with Jeno. 

It didn’t matter anyway. A romantic relationship between the two of you wasn’t practical. Your best friend had never so much as hinted at wanting something more. 

In a twisted way, you were glad he said those wounding things. You needed to be pulled back to reality.

“Hey, Jeno,” you heard Jimin say once the food arrived and everyone started eating. “I was wondering if you wanted to grab lunch and watch a movie sometime this week?” 

Bile rose to your throat. You hoped to God he would say no. You didn’t care if you were being a shitty person; you didn’t think you could take any more of this torture. 

“Are you asking me out on a date?”

Your eyes were trained on your glass of water, but you didn’t need to look at him to know he was surprised. As much as you hated eavesdroppers, you couldn’t stop yourself from wanting to learn where this conversation was going. 

“I am.” Jimin chuckled nervously.

Jeno didn’t reply immediately. The rest of your friends were engaged in their own discussions with the people sitting next to them. The table wasn’t silent by any means, but the only things you could hear were Jimin waiting for his answer with bated breath and the pounding of your heart in your chest. 

Then, “I would be honoured.”

Oh, you were most definitely going to throw up.

02. you fall for them

You hadn’t talked to Jeno ever since dinner with your group.

He hadn’t reached out to you, and you hadn’t tried to contact him either. You’d received a text from Jimin the next day about the specifics of her date with Jeno. They were supposed to meet up for lunch at a restaurant near your college campus and then go out to watch some sappy rom-com. 

He didn’t even care for rom-coms. You’d begged him to watch one with you countless times and he’d always turned you down. Part of you wondered if he knew Jimin was updating you about everything and he was purposely pulling this shit to get back at you. 

But you dismissed the notion immediately. No way were you so dense and self-centred. Maybe Jeno genuinely was into Jimin. 

Your phone began ringing, and you rolled over on your bed, blindly searching for it on your bedside table. God, you hated being woken up in the middle of your afternoon naps. It almost always guaranteed a headache. 

“Hello,” you said groggily, your throat raw and dry. “Who is this?” 

“Oh! Did I wake you up?” It was Jimin. She sounded upbeat. Your heart sank. “I’m so sorry!” 

Pushing yourself up, you rubbed the gunk out of your eyes and made your way to the window. The darkness made you bump into the corner of your study table, and you bit down on your lip to keep a yelp from escaping. Hobbling, you threw the curtains open and said, “No worries. My alarm was just about to ring. How was the date?” 

Laughter bubbled from the other end of the phone line. “It was cool! He is a really good guy. No wonder everyone is head over heels for him. He opened the door for me, didn’t let me spend any money even though I asked him out, was an excellent listener, called me pretty and beautiful, and drove me back home. Oh, God, and the eye-contact? It made him a hundred times sexier.” 

Seems legit, you thought to yourself. Jeno had always been a gentleman. The other girls you’d set him up with had pretty much given you the same feedback. Part of you felt relieved that this date hadn’t been any different than the others he’d been on. 

Except the rom-com part, of course. For the life of you, you couldn’t figure out why he would agree to something he hated. 

“Ah, I’m happy for you, Jimin!” you exclaimed, trying your best to mean what you said. Your own words tasted like ash on your tongue. “Are you guys going on a second date?” 

“I’m not sure, to be honest. He said he had a great time with me, but when I tried to ask him out again, he just hugged me. That took me by surprise, and I kinda just forgot.” She laughed. “I know good dates usually end with a kiss, but the fact that he didn’t go for one didn’t bother me.”

“Oh,” you mumbled. Sitting on the ledge of your window, you asked, “That sounds nice. Do you think you’ll try asking him again?”

The last thing you expected her to say was no. And the way she said it… she didn’t sound sad or upset or disappointed. She sounded like herself. She sounded the way one would when they talked about the weather. 

It confused you. Didn’t Jimin just say the date was really good? She sounded so happy and delighted. Why was she backing out now?

“I—I don’t get it,” you sputtered. “I thought you were into him. I thought you had a great time today. Why aren’t you going to ask him out again? Did something else happen—?”

“Calm down.” She chuckled. “Nothing happened.” 

“Huh? Then what’s the problem?”

“Nothing happened,” she repeated. “That’s the problem. I like Jeno. He’s attractive, funny and caring. He’s everything a girl would want in a guy. But there was no spark between us. I had a great time with him, but hanging out today didn’t feel any different than usual. It felt like I was hanging out with a good friend, not with a potential romantic interest.

“I was looking forward to exploring what I felt for him. Turns out, it was just physical attraction. It also turns out that he wasn’t into me at all. If it wasn’t obvious the night we all went out for dinner, it was glaringly clear today. I think part of the reason he said yes was that he didn’t want to hurt my feelings,” she added. “The other—major—part was that he’s in love with someone else, and I would rather die than be a homewrecker.”    

“Oh,” you said again. You didn’t know how to respond to that. What did she mean Jeno is in love with someone else? You didn’t dare focus on the last part of what she’d said. You didn’t dare hope that the person she was referring to was you. “Well, I’m sorry it didn’t work out between the two of you. I’m sure you’ll find someone else easily. You’re a delight. Anyone would be lucky to date you.”

Jimin laughed again. “If you weren’t in love with Jeno too, Y/N, I would have thought you were into me.” 

It took a second for the words to register, but when they did, you felt your heart drop to your stomach. Forcing yourself to laugh, you croaked, “Whatever do you mean?” 

Saying that was a mistake. You should not have asked her to elaborate. She was going to make you come to terms with your feelings, and all the time and effort you’d spent denying and trying to get rid of them was going to go down the drain. 

Before she could speak, you made a static sound with your mouth. Then, you pretended that the connection was really bad. “Wha—hear—you. Try—back. Hell—?” 

You hung up before Jimin could call you out on your bullshit. A moment later, you saw a text pop up. 

[jimin]: that was soooo unsubtle  [y/n]: idk what ur talking ab!!!!!!! [jimin]: sure [jimin]: also a tiny heads up [jimin]: i told jeno to stop being a pussy and an asshole so he’s on his way 2 ur place now [y/n]: WHAT THE FUCK [jimin]: i’m going 2 pretend u said thank u [jimin]: don’t forget ab our dinner date tmrw [jimin]: have fun <3 

It was crazy how the bell rang almost immediately after you read the last text. You wondered if the timing was planned and that Jimin had told Jeno to wait till she gave him the go-ahead. 

You trudged to the front door and took a deep breath before opening it.

“Hey,” Jeno mumbled with a small smile. His hair was ruffled, as if he had run his hands through it several times. “Can I come in?” 

Biting the inside of your cheek, you nodded and moved out of the way to make space for him to step inside. He shoved his hands inside the pockets of his jeans and stood awkwardly. 

“You can sit,” you said, feeling the corners of your lips curl up in amusement. 

He sighed and wove his fingers through his strands again. “Not before I apologise for my behaviour. I was completely out of line that day,” he said. “I shouldn’t have said those things. I didn’t mean them.” 

“So you don’t think I’m unattractive?” 

You meant to tease him, but the next thing you knew, he was standing toe-to-toe with you, a desperate and guilt-ridden expression adorning his face. “God, no. You’re the most beautiful person I have ever seen. I only said that because… because I knew it would hurt you.” 

Jeno was standing too close to you. You could barely breathe, much less think. But that didn’t stop you from asking, “Why would you want to hurt me?” 

He didn’t answer for what felt like an entire minute. He only kept staring at you, an internal battle raging inside him. Then, he let loose a breath of frustration and moved away. He refused to look at you, and your patience kept slipping with each moment that passed. 

Right when you thought it would snap, Jeno spoke up, “It hurt me when you said you and I would only ever be friends. I know how stupid it sounds, but it really did. For years, I’d been pining after you and hoping that maybe we could be something more in the future. I felt like an idiot when I realised wouldn’t ever view me in that light. 

“You got so defensive when Chenle said all our friends were suspicious of us being in a secret relationship. I couldn’t help but wonder if you felt disgusted at the idea of us being together. I got angry at myself for being naive and said those horrible things without even realising.” 

You didn’t know what to say. This was the second time you’d been rendered speechless in the past thirty minutes. It was one revelation after the other; you were having a hard time keeping up.

“You—you like me?” you stuttered. 

Jeno laughed humourlessly and looked you dead in the eyes. “I love you, Y/N.” 

“No.” 

“Yes.” 

You took a step back. “No, no, no, no—”

“Yes,” he pressed. “I’m sorry that I do. I know this changes everything, but I couldn’t keep it in anymore. I just—”

“Why would you go out with Jimin if you… if you love me?” you whispered. 

“Partly to see your reaction and partly in an attempt to get over you,” he admitted. “It didn’t work. I just—I just couldn’t stop thinking about you the entire time I was with her. I felt so guilty for saying such terrible things because I couldn’t deal with my emotions and come to terms with reality. I’m really sorry, Y/N.” 

You swallowed the lump in your throat. “I’m sorry too.”

“You don’t have to apologise for not loving me back—”

“That’s not what I’m apologising for,” you interrupted and walked towards him until your abdomens were touching. “I’m apologising for not seeing it sooner. I’m apologising for encouraging Jimin to ask you out even though it killed me. I’m apologising for denying my feelings time and time again. I’m apologising for saying we would only ever be friends. The last thing I want is for our relationship to be platonic.” 

Jeno was barely breathing. “What are you saying?” 

“I’m saying I love you too, Lee Jeno,” you mumbled and stood on your toes, cupping cheeks with your palms. “I’m saying I want you to kiss me.” 

The words didn’t register immediately, but his lips were on yours the moment they did. 

Jeno’s arm snaked around your waist, and he pulled you closer. His hand grabbed your neck from behind, and he tilted his neck to the side, deepening the kiss. 

Your breath hitched in your throat. All you could feel was him. Your nerve-endings were short-circuiting, and pure adrenaline was coursing through your veins. You didn’t think you’d ever been as satisfied and euphoric as you were right now.

Jeno’s lips slotted with yours perfectly. You smiled to yourself upon realising he tasted like chocolates. Your best friend always ate a piece before any event he deemed to be very important. He claimed they gave him good luck. 

Letting go of one of his cheeks, you grabbed the round collar of his shirt and pressed your mouth harder against his. The nights you’d spent wondering how kissing him would feel and then hating yourself immediately for having such thoughts amounted to this. 

You didn’t want to hold back. 

But you had to ask him a question. It didn’t matter how stupid or ridiculous it was; you wanted to know the answer. So, you broke the kiss and inquired with your body still tangled with his, “Why the hell did you agree to watch a rom-com with Jimin?” 

“Really?” he asked exasperatedly. “You wanna talk Jimin while we’re making out?” 

“I wanna know why you watched a rom-com with her when I’ve been begging you to watch one with me for so long,” you corrected. 

Jeno was silent for a moment, as if contemplating whether or not to tell you. You raised an eyebrow. “Well,” he started, blowing out a breath. “She told me you set her up with me, and it pissed me off even more. I knew she’d tell you all about our date, so I suggested we watch a rom-com. I knew you’d be riled up once you realised.” 

You snorted. Who knew? You weren’t actually being a self-centred narcissist when you suspected the same. “You’re an idiot. I was already riled up you were going out with her.” 

“Oh, yeah?” he teased. “Why’d you encourage her in the first place then?”

“Honestly, at first, I thought I could use you to further my friendship with her,” you admitted. Jeno scoffed in disbelief. “Yeah, I know. That was kinda shitty of me. But when I realised I was falling for you, I pushed her to pursue you in an attempt to convince myself I was not into you. That obviously backfired and did the very opposite. I was horribly miserable. I wanted to shoot myself everytime I heard her gush about you.” 

He smirked. “She gushed about me?” 

“Oh, get over yourself.” You shoved his shoulder playfully. “How’d you end up here after your date? Jimin texted me that you were coming.”

“Tough, but I’ll try.” He laughed. “She was probably able to tell how disinterested I was. After the date when I dropped her home and hugged her instead of kissing her, she just confronted me and asked if I was in love with you. Then told me to not bother answering because it was obvious. She said she didn’t want to get in the middle of us and threatened to kick my ass if I didn’t come here to make amends immediately.” 

You grinned. “Oh, the things I would have done to witness that scene.” 

“It was scary.” Jeno frowned. “She hit my shoulder really hard when I said I was in love with you and called me an idiot for going out with her. I think she was angry at herself too for being oblivious to our situationship. It was one of the weirdest dates I’ve ever been on.” 

“Jimin actually said she had a great time with you. She told me it was nice.”

“Really?” he asked, sounding surprised. 

You placed a chaste kiss on Jeno’s mouth. “Hmm, I wonder how good the best date you’ve ever been on would be then.” 

He chased your lips and kissed you back deeply. Caressing your cheekbone with stars twinkling in his eyes, Jeno said, “I guess we’ll know when I take you out.”

“No way, are you officially asking me out on a date, Lee Jeno?” you asked, and let out a fake gasp. 

“Damn right I am,” he declared. “I don’t want the amusement park trip with our friends to be our first day out as a couple. Do you wanna grab some food tomorrow afternoon? We can go to the trampoline park before that.” 

You smiled softly. “That sounds wonderful. But,” you added. “No more flirting with restaurant staff for free food, or I’ll go ballistic on you.” 

Jeno laughed, and you thought it was the most beuatiful sound you had ever heard. His chest rumbled with the force of it, his eyes creasing to look like small crescent moons. Slipping his hand into yours, he squeezed once. 

“Wouldn’t even dream of it.” 

ANOTHER AUTHOR’S NOTE | THANK U FOR READING TILL THE END WHAT ??? loads of hugs and kisses :’)) also i know i said this before but posting after a rlly long time has lowkey made me anxious LOLL i think i could have done better with the fic esp the end bc it’s a little rushed. honestly speaking i am ready to move on to my next wip and i don’t wanna spend more time rewriting this one :(( i still love this piece though and i would definitely love to hear your thoughts amigos!! stay healthy and hydrated <33

thank you to mira for coming in clutch and helping me out with the plot when i was stuck + giving me her honest opinion! thank you to dori too for reading parts of this fic and giving me her opinion as well! i love you both :D

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[mins-fins]

don't call me again — [00z — 엔시티. ]

i.e one of isa's random nct wips conceived with no real thought | now playing ꕤ

it's just the slightest bit claustrophobic in here.

well actually it isn't; you're lying to yourself to try to feel better about your circumstances. the air of the room shoves against you, crawling up your chest and seizing your throat in an unyielding grip. you might die from just the squeezing sensation of the room as a whole, even if there isn't even a crowd around you.

"yooooo y/n!" you snap out midway through your daze, the clawing hand formerly clutching your throat now sliding downward, completely disappearing. "dude! i can't believe you made it!"

a strained smile is all you offer, a small squeak leaving your lips as mark pulls you into an abrupt embrace, practically crushing your ribs with his vice grip. "traffic was shitty, but i kept my promise".

mark finally lets go of you, his crushing grip still painting your shoulders even after his hands remove themselves from your shoulders. "good for you, dude! jaem almost thought you wouldn't show".

you pause. jaemin is here. of course jaemin is here. you really are an idiot.

maybe you can make up an excuse. you have a family thing going on! no, too obvious, you can't lie on your mother's behalf without feeling bile crawl up your throat. your cat is sick? you could never lie about something like that. maybe you should just do a fake out and pretend that you're about to vomit—

"yooooo y/n is that you? it's been forever man!"

johnny suh has clearly had one too many drinks, but it's nothing you haven't seen before. the taller is quick to snort at the expression on your face, poking your cheek. you only offer a small wave, not exactly trusting your voice at the current moment. "how's life been treating you?"

you respond with a small shrug as he throws an arm around your shoulder, being nudged forward by the planned movement. you almost want to stop and slip from his grip, but you retain such urges. "semi well".

"semi?"

"i consider me being alive to be an indication of that.." you mutter with pure indignation in your tone, but you assume the alcohol has rendered johnny clueless towards the conveyance you attempt to make clear. his corresponding chuckle makes it clear to you that he thought you were joking, so you refrain from explaining yourself further.

"maybe you should lay low on all that studying! medical school probably hurts someone's brain!"

"it's fine i've learned how to handle it" you place a theatric smile on your lips as you catch a standard look of worry from mark in your peripheral vision.

"hey! tonight you have a break so just.." johnny trails off and you grunt, pushed onto the soft cushions of a couch. "relax".

"y/n has never really been good at doing that".

well speak of the devil, na jaemin nestles himself right beside you, satisfactory smile playing on his lips as he sees your momentary look of irritation. you ruffle your own hair and suck a breath between your teeth, it shouldn't be such a problem to face him now. "hi jaemin".

"it's been almost two years! didn't you miss me?"

in your fucking dreams, would be your usual response if you had no composure and didn't care about causing a scene, but for the sake of your own peace, you let the words die down in your throat. "was too wrapped up in surgery to even really think about it.."

a small scowl is almost let out, but jaemin instead smiles, hand gracing your shoulder in a gentle enough fashion it isn't suspicious. "well you're here now, i heard jeno missed you dearly".

yeah he told me that you idiot.

again, you bite your tongue.

"assuming he didn't tell you.."

jaemin lets out a laugh so performed he may as well open curtains to reveal your on a stage, he pinches the connection between your shoulder and neck, yet another performative smile gracing his features. "you are so funny!"

he might murder you tonight,

assuming you don't get to him first, of course.

the one thing people always forget to mention about reunions is that you cannot have any privacy, no matter how many times you pretend you have to use the bathroom.

you haven't even drank any of the stuff they have lying around, yet you feel as if you're one poke away from puking your guts out on the floor. it would be a funny feat to imagine if it wasn't a result of your very clear anxiety.

"hey how come you haven't had a drink yet?"

the inquiry is posed out of the purity of guanheng's heart. god bless him, even if he is oblivious to most situations. the shake of your head is so erratic your afraid you'll snap your own neck in the process. "i'm driving myself home, can't drink".

the sigh he releases in response is full of disappointment. "that fucking sucks! you bury yourself in all this work and can't even get drunk?"

you decide shrugging is the best course response. "i don't even really want to drink anyway".

you are on a roll with these lies! no you are not sweating! or panicking! or can slowly feel your stomach twisting in very clear anxiety! your lips press into a thin line, a small hum being your next action.

"y/n! y/n!"

now here comes your worst nightmare personified.

that can't even be said with assurance, because liu yangyang's lips stretch up into a euphoric smile. he's happy to see you, and in a sense, you are too, you're also just the slightest bit terrified. "hi yangyang".

he narrows his eyes, as if looking through you, but his smile returns to it's usual manner in a split second. absolutely no animosity behind it at all.

so you're going crazy! alright! that's amazing!

he doesn't say anything more, instead grabs onto you and pulls you into yet another bone crushing hug (that has to be the theme with everyone here), but instead of the usual fear you thought you'd fear when one of them hugged you, you feel warmth, much more than you anticipated.

maybe all isn't that bad, yangyang is still one squeeze away from choking you to death but does that really matter when the hug is like sleeping on the worlds softest pillow?

"i missed you".

you almost miss the hint of irritation that laces his tone, just a small eye twitch being your indication that no, it all is that bad. god maybe you should've said a family thing came up, it'd be easier to deal with a scolding from your mother than this.

"i missed you too" you clear your throat as you mutter the phrase, just barely able to keep your composure as you watch him smile again, eyes closing in a manner that clearly displays his displeasure.

"jaemin told me you were feeling better compared to what happened last year".

you smile so hard you swear you're going to begin bleeding. "i didn't talk to jaemin last year".

yangyang feigns surprise at the revelation. he knows exactly what he's talking about. liar. he then pretends to think it over, snapping his fingers. "oh no! injunie told me!"

your smile quickly fades. renjun. he might be your only saving grace in this mess, considering you don't run into the other two first. you might puke right now. "renjun, right".

"he said he's been dying to see you, maybe you should go find him".

maybe. what a jerk. it's like he can sense your anxiety with the way he squeezes your hand. (though if there's a heat that spreads across your cheeks, you'd rather not admit that).

"well actually—"

"hey! let's go look for him together!" yangyang doesn't allow for you to finish, a small tug of your hand rendering you speechless. you mutter unintelligible curses under your breath as you again feel a squeeze against your hand, his warm fingers clashing against your cold ones.

together. how fun. you manage to keep up smiles as you greet your other friends, friends who had many questions, but didn't exactly ask. maybe you should've declined mark's offer, it would've been better to rot in your apartment compared to facing this.

"do you know where he is?"

"i'm just guessing".

you hate that it does, but the words earn a small smile from you.

sometimes you forget, even after all of this, their still your friends. friends just get weird on occasions, friends just.. have disagreements on occasions, this is on par for frien—

"well what do we have going on here?"

you grit your teeth as soon as you hear the voice, and a small chuckle reverberates from your other.. friend. "y/n! it's been a while!"

you're just barely able to place a smile on your face, glancing at, again.. your worst nightmare in human form. lee donghyuck only stifles a small giggle at the expression which graces your features, his arms crossed above his chest, grin full of teeth. "yeah.. hi hyu— donghyuck".

you catch yourself just in time, and donghyuck bites his tongue, insult heavy on his mind. he again presents a smile, finger beginning to map out the side of your face in a slow motion. "almost two years! it's nice to see you haven't changed".

what a bitch.

you manage to refrain such thoughts from escaping your lips, the last thing you need to do is start a fight with the one person you've already shared fists with. "were looking for renjun".

"oh! a search? can i join you two?" his hands clasp behind his back, smile seemingly permanent.

you almost open your mouth to respond, but you clamp it shut, so yangyang takes the liberty of responding. "sure!"

oh curse you for being so you yangyang.

donghyuck hums happily, seizing your other free hand as he intertwined your fingers. you freeze, shoulders tensing, now stuck between the two people you were not currently feeling fond of at the moment. donghyuck's hands are rough, sometimes you feel as if he forgets about lotion, but yangyang's are soft, uncharacteristically so.

you again feel bile begin crawling up your throat, anxiety practically written in bold letters across your forehead as you again mutter greetings to your friends who haven't seen you in a while, all completely oblivious to the inner turmoil you faced.

you almost feel your eyes begin watering, but donghyuck decides to cut in.

"how's surgery going?"

you have half a mind to punch him in the face, oh fuck him.

"it's fine.. i've gotten used to seeing people's brains".

donghyuck's lips turn up.

"ohhhh, surgery is what you're doing! seems like a very you thing".

"right? even with how queasy he gets".

you manage to hold in your glare, rolling your eyes. donghyuck again squeezes your hand, nudging your shoulder. "it's been a while, should i give you my new number?"

you again feel bile crawling up your throat. "no it's fine i'll just get it from—"

"don't be silly! let me give it to you!"

donghyuck stops, keeping a vice grip on your hand as he puts his number into your phone. you aren't going to text him, even if his glares ask you to.

you wiggle your way away from him, quickly taking your phone with you. "that's nice! you know i just remembered i have a.. thing! a thing going on!"

smooth going, y/n.

"a thing?"

you nod so rapidly it makes yangyang step back. "yeah i have a.. something else to d—"

lord maybe you should watch where you're going, because you bump into someone as you walk backward the other way. just your fucking luck.

"woah, at least don't trip y/n".

and at this point, should you even be surprised by whose standing behind you?

staring your ex kissing buddy face to face would be nice if huang renjun wasn't also behind him, waving gleefully at the sight of you. if this were any other time, almost fainting at the sight of lee jeno would be amusing, but you fear you might genuinely pass out any time now.

"you alright y/n?"

you force another smile. "of course, i'm great!"

you are not great, you might actually die any moment now.

you really shouldn't have accepted mark's stupid invite.